by SheilaM 55 Replies latest jw friends
So when discussing this in the future, it would be nice if you wouldn't lump every child who has these issues into one group.
But isn't that what's being done, that every child who can't pay attention is being 'lumped into a group' and diagnosed as having ADD/ADHD?
I have been to doctor after doctor for over 2 years with my son. He has been diagnosed with bi-polar, manic depressant and other things that I cannot even remember. Now they are “classifying” him as possible ADHT. (And he isn’t even being brought up a JW!)
He has done everything from going after his dad with a broken beer bottle to trying to commit suicide to getting a machete and cutting both his arms (and wrist!) up one side and down the other. He has taken a bird away from our cat and nursed it back to health, took his younger brother over and told him how proud he is of him, he has surprised me by me coming home and having a perfectly clean house. Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde.
He has a chemical brain imbalance; we are still trying to get it straightened out.
I have gone against all drugs they wanted to give him. I have finally conceded and he is now on Zoloft. He is a different person. He holds his temper (most of the time) instead of letting it fly. He does the dishes, grudgingly as most teenagers, but he now does them. He still can’t sit still for very long. He is very smart especially in mathematics, his SAT’s were in the top .5%. The doc wants to put him on sleeping pills because his mind races so much that he can’t sleep. I have been giving him St. Johns Wort and it has helped him some. I haven’t conceded to the sleeping pills yet. We are still in turmoil with him. Waiting for “something else” to happen.
For those of you that believe they can “knock it into him” (I am so SICK AND TIRED of people saying that!) that it is all a bunch of BS; learn the facts before you start with your BS! I know that some parent that have taken the "easy way out" and just drug their kids and every time I think of it I get furious!!! Don’t put all of us in that same category.
If there is an expert on this forum I would like your opinion. I am afraid for my son. I don’t want him on drugs, but if he really honestly has a medical problem I don’t want him to be stuck with a wrong label. He has been labeled with so many different acronyms what do I believe?
Sorry to hear about your son Mystery, I can identify to a degree with my 8 year old son, he hasnt started the things your son is doing, but I cannot imagine what he will be like at 16, it scares me.
I hope no one took offense at what I said about good old fashioned parenting , because for us , it works, we are stern but we dont beat him , mostly just put the rules down and he knows he has to obey and when he doesnt he has to pay the consequences. The worst problem we have is the figting he does with is sister, they are 17 months apart and always together, so putting them in seperate rooms is usally enough for him to beg to act right and not try and kill her. He is gaining more control over alot of things because he wants to do more things.
Example, ,,, there was a time I stopped letting him go to any stores with me because he would run, scream, cry for things, act totally unacceptable , and I just left him at home for along time. I decided to give him another chance and he acted alot better,,,,,,,sometimes he still breaks off and trys to run around but reminding him of the time I stopped letting him go , stops him and he thinks about it.
Alot of it is is constant reminders ,over and over to reinforce what is acceptable, because their little minds are going so fast they really do forget to control themselves.
Funkyderek,
I certainly don't disagree with you. Many times kids who don't pay attention or are hyperactive, are all put into one group. That is wrong too. I do feel that many children are misdiagnosed. And this is unfortunate, because it makes it that much harder for the children who really do have it. Notice how so many of the children diagnosed with ADHD are boys. Is this because people just can't handle all their energy, so they immediately put them on drugs because it is beneficial to the parent? Probably so. But again, this just makes it all the more difficult for those that really are suffering from it.
To properly diagnose a child, one has to go through a lot of testing. This usually involves testing at school level, and also through a medical doctor not associated with the school.If there are cases where the school is saying the child is ADHD, and a doctor just takes their word for it,and then puts the child on meds, that is extremely unfortunate.
I just find that comments made to lump everyone together, can be very hurtful to those dealing with such issues.It tends to hurt those who have tried everything in their power to help a child who deals with this, only to be told this doesn't even exist. ( note to Sheila, I know you didn't say this doesn't exist, you were just letting people know how harmful some of the drugs can be ).
xjw_b12, have the teachers ever looked into the fact that maybe you're child behaves this way is because he isn't being challanged enough? Many gifted children act up in class because the work isn't challanging enough. If he is finishing his assignments before all the other children, are they giving him other work to keep him occupied? What kid wouldn't be a little antsy when bored?
Clearly a case of posting before I had my coffee...My sincerest apologies to those I may have offended my post should have read that "in some cases" (re: the disciplining) but instead I rushed and posted something different.
The simple fact that speed acts to calm some people tells you that there is something a bit unusual going on with their brain chemistry. Is it really such a sin for the medical community to be searching for the answer to just what that oddity is? Is it really a huge, nefarious, behind-the-scenes-conspiracy that they have given a name to a problem that many people have?
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Most parents are reactional idiots, so what else is new?
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If there is an expert on this forum I would like your opinion.
You'll no doubt find many experts on this and any other subject on this board. Please don't believe a damn one of them. Including me.
But isn't that what's being done, that every child who can't pay attention is being 'lumped into a group' and diagnosed as having ADD/ADHD?
Yes. No. Maybe. The fact is that if someone can't pay attention, it is a problem for them, and if it is found to be a solvable problem, with acceptable tradeoffs, their lives will be better for having looked for a solution.
Some comments on this issue remind me of the debates about homosexuality; the person can't seem to pay attention, organize thoughts, everyone else decides they just don't want to pay attention enough, lol. "You say your attraction to the same sex is just the way you are, the way you've always felt, but we know you just want to do your own thing, you could be normal (ie: like me) if you'd just discipline yourself".
I absolutely agree with this. I know of 3 people who were ADD and ADHD as children and put on drugs, they grew up to be drug addicted and 2 of the 3 are currently in prison serving 5-10 years each for violent crimes. I agree that it is an easy answer for lazy parents. My mother was told I had ADD as a child, and while I do have attention and concentration problems as well as problems with noisel; now as an adult, I was never given any drugs. I grew out of whatever issues I had, and excelled in school. I believe this is a bunch of crock, and unless a person has severe chemical imbalances, drugs are never the answer. Simply more work.
Strattera, introduced late last year is NOT a stimulant (like Ritalin and Adderall) and not a controlled substance. Mystery and Lyin Eyes--this may be worth looking into w/ your children's doctors.
Thank you Six of Nine for your balanced, reasonable comments on this subject.
from a mom who knows,
RN
It never ceases to amaze me how people with absolutely no education or personal experience on any given subject can unilaterally declare their tiny knowledge base on the subject as fact. Although I can see how tempting it might be to take a listing of 'facts' asserted on The Montel Williams Show-beacon of journalistic integrity that it is-and use them to reach a strongly stated opinion on the subject.
First things first. ADD/ADHD, though commonly separated, are actually both categorized in the disorder Attention Deficit Hyperactivty Disorder, (or ADHD). A person diagnosed with ADHD can either exhibit "inattentive" tendences (referred to as ADD) OR "hyperactive" tendencies, or both. Whatever the case, ADHD is the main diagnosis, and the specific manifestation is secondary.
ADHD and the corresponding treatments have received a great deal of attention in the last 20 years. I will concede up front that the sheer number of children (and adults for that matter) diagnosed with the disorder is somewhat alarming. It is likely that there have been misdiagnoses, inappropriate prescribed drug regimen usage, and I will even go so far as to say that there may be a percentage of children currently diagnosed as ADHD who are being treated for a condition that is nothing more than childish exhuberance. The existence of such situations does NOT, however, negate the existence of the disorder. In the same vein, it does not mean that drug therapies for treating individuals with ADHD are not legitimately prescribed and helpful to those that use them.
Why is it that now...in this day and age there are so many children with "ADHD" or "ADD"?? When I was say 7 (20 yrs ago) no one even had heard of ADD or ADHD. If there was a hyper kid...he was just a hyper kid. No meds, no fancy diet, no fancy diagnosis, maybe he would have a special ed. class...but that is about it.
Yes, children who were hyper were "just hyper". And they continued to be a big distraction and disruption to other students, their grades were not as good, and their behavior that couldn't be curbed with modification (if it was even attempted) was left to continue creating a problem their entire lives. Many of these "just hyper" kids became adults with the same kinds of disruptive problems in their marriages, jobs, and then in their own parenting skills. If a diagnosis of ADHD and appropriate drug/behavioral therapies had been available, they might have had an easier, more productive educational experience and adult personal life.
IMHO, these so-called childhood disorders are an excuse for people not properly disciplining their children.
To say that poor parenting is the cause of the majority of attention deficit and hyperactivity problems is damn close to saying telling parents of a schizophrenic child that their child wouldn't hear voices if they'd just up the discipline. Please. I find that people who make such judgements about other people's parental skills and their children's behavior are often the most guilty of the very things they profess to be so awful. By the same token, I do believe that if you have a child that has been diagnosed with ADHD, you take on a great responsiblity to engage in behavioral modification techniques in conjunction with any medicine that may be used.
Teachers have 22 plus students in the average classroom today. They cannot spend their entire day disciplining the one or two disruptive children to the detriment of the other students. Today's teachers have learned many strategies to deal with kids who are constant poor-performers and/or behaviorally disruptive, but they are better able to do their job when children with legitimate problems receive the support and treatment they need from involved parents, physicians, and other education professionals.
I absolutely agree with this. I know of 3 people who were ADD and ADHD as children and put on drugs, they grew up to be drug addicted and 2 of the 3 are currently in prison serving 5-10 years each for violent crimes.
Oh please. I know of three people who have used different medications to control their ADHD and have grown up to be productive members of society who have lovely familes and great careers. I also know of a few people who were not treated for any kind of mental disorder who have cheated on their wives repeatedly, stabbed someone after a football game, and killed two people while driving drunk. Can I now say that my "research" indicates that NOT taking ADHD treatment medication leads you down the path of ruin? It's ridiculous to say that "drugs are NEVER the answer".
As with any medical diagnosis, the key to dealing with it is education. Read the research on all sides of the issue, speak with medical and educational professionals, and make the appropriate decisions for your child based on that information.
