by gitasatsangha 20 Replies latest jw friends
I remember a guy that used to read the scriptures from a printout. He started a fad and soon everyone was bringing printouts of the scriptures in the WT, or at the book study.
Otherwise, I can't think of any particularly funny talks. Sometimes I think I must have blocked all those memories to protect myself.
I remember years back (1985?) the CO came to our hall (think his name was Mckinney - old, crusty, and grumpy). Anyway, he gave a talk about marrige and flat out said that you should not be getting married if you do not plan to have children. At one point he fanatically threw up his arms and stated "If you're a married couple and you're not having children, then why did you get married for in the first place? For Sex?". I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Not long afterwards I talked to an elder in the hall about that talk saying that I felt the CO was completely in the wrong, nor was there any scriptural basis for his statements. Of course the elder didn't see it my way and basically said "Well, that's what the CO is here for, to 'step on a few toes' when needed". I was thoroughly disgusted, and apparently so were others.
Once a Elder who was giving the public talk. Said that in the new system we might even live on the moon. Some would live forever on the earth and others might want to live on the moon. We don't know what the conditions are going to be like there in the new system. Jehovah might want us to live everywhere. Now ain't that something all this time I'm being taught about everlasting life on earth and now I've gotta live on the moon. I don't think I'm ready for that.
Diamond
ROFL Diamond!!!
bebu
During a talk once an elder watned to remind us all that we COULD NOT BUY LOTTO tickets, and if we did and we won, we would not be able to keep it b/c the elders would find out and we would be DF. i swear he said that. he was red faced and pissed that anyone would be able to win money if he could not .the moral-Jehovah will get u. u can't put anything over him..he'll expose u for what u are.
once a young brother gave a talk on some character in the bible who was known as a mighty hunter in opposition to god. he kept saying a mighty humper... stuttered turned beet red and put his head down and tried to go on . i kept sputtering and laughing trying to picture what a mighty humping would look like and because the phrase was constantly repeated throughout his talk.
an elder watned to remind us all that we COULD NOT BUY LOTTO tickets, and if we did and we won, we would not be able to keep it b/c the elders would find out and we would be DF
I have heard that also. I remember asking about if the lottery ticket was a gift from someone. The answer I got was that it was money earned from gambling whether the person winning spent any money or not, therefore it would be a sin to accept the winnings. Whatever. Never won off of tickets given to me by family not in "the truth". But if I had, I would have kept the money for sure.
I can't think of any one talk that stood out(there were so many that were bad) but I do remember this one elder who must've thought he was a baptist preacher or something. He sounded like Reverend Lovejoy from the Simpsons. He didn't talk like that normally, but when he got up on stage, look out. "Je-HO-vah Go-od and JE-sus Chri-ist who sits at go-ods right ha-ND in hea-VON..." It drove me nuts. If he had a part on the service meeting I left during the song after the ministry school. I just couldn't take it. Same for public talks. If I knew he was goin to be the speaker, I arranged to be out of town.
At a circuit assembly in the early 1980's there was a talk about babies being enemies of Jehovah. Sick! You know what is even sicker? By the end of the talk we were all mindlessly sitting there nodding our heads in agreement. Only a cult could have such control!
When I lived in Long Beach this old brother got up to give the Closing Prayer and started with, "Please, Jehovah forgive us for our fallin' shorts!" I didn't hear the rest of the prayer, and either did anyone else! Maverick
I remember years ago at a convention part of worldly music the speaker condemned a band called"McFleetwood" We kids found it funny. At my congo in the bronx the service overseer had a Jamaican accent and spoke thru his nose. He wore those reading glasses that hang on the end of the nose. He was abusing us with his WT conducting one sunday and found commenting worse than usual. The reason was we could not understand his questions, He made them up rather than reading those printed. After a long period of silence he repeatedly and snidely remarked that we had not studied properly. He then broke wind loud enough to hear thru the hall. My fellow bethelites and I were sitting in the front row. We simply could not contain ourselves, he then thru the mic asked "Is something funny?". No I am not making this up.
