I just phoned my daughter who is 23 years old, and she is graduating from college in Toronto this June. I thought because there were some great flight offers that I would be spontaneous and be there for her graduation and just do a mother daughter thing of celebrating. Well I just phoned her, to tell her that I would like to be there, and she hits me with the bombshell that my parents will be there and staying with her. God, that took the wind right out of my sails\
I don't want to make this long but I have to explain why we are at this point in our lives.
I married young to an elder's son, from Michigan, was miserable, got pregnant, left him because he was a sorry son of a bitch. (I caught him in bed sowing his oats, because he couldn't do it under daddys' roof) I went back home to Canada, to live with my parents, so as I was working and trying to make a life for my daughter and me, they took charge of her.
When she was 5, I got married to xjw_b12. He loved her so, and he adopted her within the first year of our marriage. (he is a sweetheart and my rock). He was able to adopt her because my ex didn't want anything to do with us, and never fought the adoption. In fact he denied it was his, during the divorce, and later when he was served with papers, when xjw_b12 adopted her.
So years later, we are now having problems with her. In pre-teen age because of the JW restraints and the restrictions we would bring upon her. My parents never sided with the upbringing that I was doing with my daughter, although they did the same with me. But because they had a dislike of xjw everything we did was wrong. So eventually my daughter would use that against us, run away and eventually run to grandma and grandpa's house, because they understood her. Like right, they would have never allowed that with me, but because they were trying to save her, they totally disregarded our efforts. My daughter never ever took to the jw mindset. and because she is not baptized they use that against us because she could be saved.
Advance forward to when she turns 18, She is now at the prime of her life, graduating from highschool and going to Chef school. My parents are now instrumental in introducing my ex-husband into her life (who all of a sudden, now that she is 18 and has no legal obligation to support her, admits he's her father). Up until this time my parents hated my ex, because he had been disfellowshipped because of his early actions, but because he now was back in good standing in the congregation and I was on my way out of the organization, they were going to back stab me and do this to me.
What hurt at that time is that my daughter invited my parents to her graduation first, rather than us. I was hurt, and there was no god damn way I was going to sit at that graduation with my parents there, the wounds were too fresh.
So now I'm here tonight, thinking that things have changed and I'm right back down into my deep abyss, feeling like I somehow failed my daughter, and I'm paying for whatever I've done in life. Again my parents are right there, before me, taking the glory. And I'm there in the background as a blacksheep.
Did I bear this child to only get kicked in the teeth. I feel at this time that fine!! Go to hell all of you, and my side of the family, because I'm better off without this shunning crap.
So now I'm wondering.......... should I just go for the hell of it and make my parents feel uncomfortable with an apostate daughter, and actually sleep in the same room as them. Or should I go, irregardless of the fact that my "borg parents" are going to be there, but I just want to be with my firstborn...and show her I Love Her !