**LAUGHING UNCONTROLABLY** GOOD ONE HIPPIKON!! Playdrums: Well said. I have had almost exactly the same experience. I am a Conservative Christian, and the girl I WAS dating was and still is a JW. She was trying ever so persistently to convert me to the JW religion. We decided that we would attend eachother's church services, so she came with me to church once or twice. I was really surprised at her reaction. She totally freaked out! Durring the church services she was shaking, and she broke into a cold sweat, and she was clinging to me as if she was dying. Really weird. But of corse that is all part of the cult indoctrination. She's been taught to fear everything that has to do with any other faith different from the JW religion. If she participates she's in danger of being killed eternally. So finally I went to the memorial with her. It was one of the weirdest religious meetings I have EVER been to. There was a row of people in the back of the room that nobody talked to. They just sat there quitely the whole time, straight faced, almost looking ashamed. I was assuming they were the disfellowshipped people trying to earn their way back in. Before the meeting began I asked my girlfriend what would happen if I ate the crackers and drank the wine. She said, "if you do I'll shoot ya." Obvioiusly she did not mean that she literally wanted to kill me, but I was quite surprised at her emotion and anger in the possibility that I would be so conceded and self-righeous (I have no idea how to spell that) to think that I would be worthy of partaking, seeing that I was not a good JW and all. We were welcomed warmly, but when the meeting started, they sang a few songs from the song book. There was no live music acompanyment, but there was some piano music acompanying those who were "singing" which was being played over a stereo system. Now the "singing", that was quite a sight. I looked around the room and saw that most people had their faces buried in the book, kind of mumbling out the words. Then there were those who were not even looking at the book, just standing there. AND THE WORDS OF THE SONGS!! WOW!! Obvious tools of endoctrination. They have figured out that the human mind remembers words well if they are put to music (though considering their fumbly ditties as "music" is difficult to imagine). One of the songs was about how the majority of people are not worthy, i.e. only the 144,000 are worthy of true attention from Jehovah, etc. Another was about the earthly organization that they were so thankful for, and the "spiritual food" which was abundant and nourishing. I agree with you playdrums when you said that the songs were not at all melodic: that the words were basically forced into the music without much thought about how the songs would actually sound. Then finally the elder gave the "talk". All the elders sat in the front row, and they all had a forelorne, sad face about them. The guy giving the talk looked particularly down and unhappy (given the demeanor of everyone I wondered if afterwords they were going to host a mass suicide durring the social hour that everyone was invited to ;) ). He talked about the 144k in heaven, about how Jesus' sacrifice was not enough for salvation but that working for the organization was the only true way to survive armagedon. And then he said something that really disturbed me. I've read this before in researching the JW cult, but hearing someone actually saying it in a group gathering really made me shudder. He said, "Now we are going to pass the emblems. Remember, you are not worthy to take them unless you are of the 144,000 privaledged class. So if any of you here partake, you will experience extreme discipline from Jehovah." WHAT!?!?!? Wow. So why are they even going through this whole thing if EVERYONE IN THE ROOM is told NOT to partake? It was quite shocking. I agree that this whole ceremony, this cultic evil ceremony is a complete mockery of what Jesus intended of the celebration of communion. And rightfully so as this religion is purely evil. Everything from the songs they sang, to the talk the elder gave, to the passing of the emblems was a complete mockery of what Jesus did, disgustingly poking fun at Jesus and his sacrifice. It was really quite painful for me to see all those people being told that they are not good enough, and how systematically and methodically it was done. This of corse explained why everyone looked so unhappy, bored and hopeless. One woman in the back row got up and walked out crying. My girlfriend later explained to me, with a slightly condescending tone of voice, that those in the back row were the disfellowshipped ones and they were to be treated as if they were dead. Throughout the whole thing there was no mention of the idea of grace, no mention of the idea that we can have FREEDOM from guilt. Instead, guilt was played on heavily and MORE work for the organization was encouraged. Another thing the elder said was, "Christendom teaches that believing in Jesus is enough to be saved from armagedon. The truth to that is NO, it is not enough. You must have works. Those works include going to meetings regularly, sharing the joys of the kingdom in the door to door preaching work, and denying yourself of the evil practices of holiday and birthday celebration." The JOYS of the kingdom!?!?! What is he talking about?? The kingdom he was talking about was a complete evil dictatorship, void of ALL joy, as was COMPLETELY OBVIOUS by looking at everyone in that room. GEEZ!! Anyway, I could go on and on...the whole thing made me sick, and I felt dark, angry and sad afterwords. I went home to my parents and told them about the whole thing. I felt like I needed counseling afterwords just because the whole thing was so terrible! I feel so sad for all those people that are experiencing so much pain and guilt from that evil organization. It's really no wonder that so many people want nothing to do with the idea of GOD or faith after being part of the JW cult. Can you blame them? I hope and pray that the Watchtower Society will die...the sooner the better. Sorry for such a long post...