I"m finally gonna do it afterall these years!

nojw86

I"M finally going to do it , write that dang DA letter. Being that we still have family in, I would like some assistance in starting out this task. I have so much already in mind, but after being on these board and reading about so many of you, I can see the strenght coming from you the beautiful way some of guys can write. Why did I start this when I have to leave for my chemo. In a way I want them to know I know I am happy with some things in life and that their way of shunning will never bring anyone back unless you still want to hold on to what family you might have in there, which I don't, as popeye says , "I can stands so much I can stands no more" Well time for me to leave for the hospital, goodday to all. nojw

mommy

Nojw,
Remember they will not read this letter! They will read the only thing in it they want to hear. Please think about this before you do it. You could even write a letter to ease your own mind, but never turn it in.
wendy

mgm

I just sent a DA letter (7 pages) 4 weeks ago. I sent a copy to all (ex)friends in different meetings.
My workmate got one too, one week later he left the witness too.
So it was worth the effort to write such a letter....

LovesDubs

This is a tough decision and only you can make this obviously. But if you want to reach people first, write a thought provoking and loving letter to ALL the people you would like to reach with what you know first, and THEN write to the elders. But do them within a day or so of each other as there will be those who will turn you in right away and they might DF you on the spot instead of allowing the disassociation. I mean if that is an issue to you. In the long run its moot because they treat you the same way. But I wasnt going to give them the pleasure of DFing me, nor did I want my name associated with that Godforsaken cult ever again...so I wrote mine.

I sent several of them out...one to my mother in law who was married to an elder, and was a 25 year STOLID unmovable JW...and she was furious at me and lashed out and said to stay away from her family with my apostacy...but damn if she didnt keep that 9 page dissertation. And damn if she didnt start thinking about it...and damn if she isnt out now too.

So you never know kiddo. And no...the elders probably wont read it...but then its not them you are trying to reach either.

VeniceIT

WOw Mgm that's great!!

So my advise would be, if you are gonna send a DA letter, first right letter and send it to the cong, and others in your circuitm BEFORE you turn your DA letter in, that way they'll read it!!!

Hopeing for the best for you! Take care!

Venice

mgm

I had like two versions of letter with almost the same content. One startet with: Dear friends ....the others with: To the elders of....

but I sent all the same day and I think, most of them read it. If I would get a letter, I couldn't hold myself back from reading...

After that, my father, a elder, complaint about the fact, that I sent so many letters to the brothers. But I said, I have the right to tell them one last word, cause after that, I can't comunicate anymore.
And anyway, if they just ask my family for the reasons, they would say, that we got in contact with apostates. So, I liked it better to tell them directly.

outnfree

nojw,

I agree with the majority here. If you want to make it clear that you are rejecting the organization and if you want to tell others why, write letters to your friends first and then mail your DA letter to the elders a day or two later.

It has been suggested that rather than writing Dear Friends at the top of your letter that you take the time to address each one with the recipient's personal name. In this way, no one will be sure who else exactly received a copy and they will be freed from having to report the matter to the elders.

I decided NOT to write to all the "friends" first and regret it. At the time I was too emotionally overwrought and every time I sat down to write the letter, it turned into a novel. There was so much I wanted to SAY and all of it seemed so important to back up. Now, I think I would just pose some thought-provoking questions and say something like my own research into these matters has led me to conclude... which is why I am disassociating.

I opted to write a short, four paragraph letter to the elder body because I did not feel that they would take the time to read a missive and that the GB was not likely to either.

Still, since then I have also found that Elder's Manual on the web, and it seems to me that if you have already been gone a number of years -- how many is it, nojw? -- you might be better to just remain in your inactive state. Apparently, if you've drifted away and the elders feel it's clear you do not recognize the congregation's authority over you any longer, they will not take any action at all.
Why burn all your bridges, if you don't have to?

I know you say that you no longer care about having contact with the family that's still in. Still, DA'ing yourself could make necessary family affairs much more complicated in the future. (Death, funeral arrangements, estate settlement -- you likely don't care about baby showers and weddings anymore?)

However, if, after all that, you still want to go ahead, Bravo! for you! Perhaps you, like mgm, will have the pleasure of "springing" another internee of the Borg.

I wish you peace, however you proceed.
outnfree

think41self

((((((((((NOJW))))))))))

My heart goes out to you in your struggle.

I agree with what others have said, whether to send the letter or not is, of course, a personal decision. For myself, I wish I had sent a letter instead of "allowing" them to DF me, but in the end, it doesn't matter, the result is the same. Mommy gave you some good advice: Write the letter anyway, it will be cathartic for you. Then hang onto it a little to decide if you really want to send it. And I agree, if you decide to send it, send copies to the people you care about at the same time.

You are a fighter, and the human spirit always triumphs!!

think41self

humble

Don't do it. Don't make a decision based on the manipulation of this board. You'll be happy if you leave things in Jehovah's hands and stick with his organization. Errors have been made and will be made, but look at the overall picture. Jehovah will clean up this earth, and bring his new system of things. Keep in unity with your family and just make sure all of you make it. It will be worth your patience and perseverance.

stephenw20

Humble,
WOuld you like me to tell you to NOT write any more posts.....?

the word DONT" has no place for YOU telling another person on the face of GODS green earth what to do.......

it is wonderful you have your beliefs..............trust that most here have theirs as well..........trust also that the org you support FIGHTS in court for Relgious freedom and then denies the theory in reality......

if you feel one should TRUST in Jehovah.......then what does not belonging to an ORGANIZATION have to do WITH THAT

perhaps you should look at your own advice........

LOOK AT THE BIG ...WHOLE PICTURE

It is no crime to be yourself ....express who you are what you believe and know you are still a son or daughter of GOD.

its a right we all have, and a right that you did not give to anyone..so please dont attempt to take it away.....

I cant say nojw86, if you should say D/A or not .... in my own letter sent last month... I told them ,I would not D/A since I did not write a letter to join, and felt a dedication to god had little to do with them. The Baptismal questions I answered were PRE 85 and had nothing about the JWS in them....

THey did read my letter which was 28 pages....... I know this because I ran into an elder the other day at the store......... he wondered why I wrote the letter at all.....as if I could have just evaporated........my motivation was my children..and NOT having them assocaited with their mind controlling group and I said as much to the elder.

I mentioned i I could not get past the UNITY thing over truth ...and the remarks of Covington regarding the truth not being as important as unity , and those that are D/A or D/F being worthy of death.

His response was just oh so wonderful

He said ..

".well I know Firemen that kill people...that doesnt make all firemen bad...." ... as if that has any relevance..(he is a fireman.......)

but enough said....nojw86,
I wish you peace and love........ and patience in writting and handing in the letter.....

I will say after I was done...... I felt such a burden lifted and gone.......

s

I"m finally gonna do it afterall these years!

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