the toll of being PIMO

enoughisenough

For those of you who are PIMO, how do you feel it may be effecting your mental and physical health? Is it easy to pretend to be what you are not? How do you feel about falsely supporting the PIMI which builds them up and therefore an org you don't believe in? For those who were PIMO and disassociated? How do you think that effected your mental and physical health?

no-zombie

Talking from my own experience as a PIMO, I'd say that there is an emotional cost in being one.

The lack of being able to express yourself or talk about troublesome doctrines for me has been hard. As to, is the fear of being outed by somebody I may know. HOWEVER, it was part of the calculation I made and accepted, in view of my own family circumstances.

But in actuality I understood, that there is no pain free option for people like us. Deliberately sinning to get disfellowshiped, disassociating oneself or just walking away, all come at a cost, too. And for some in their own unique situations, they might have chosen one of them.

Ultimately though, I believe that not playing the victim and accepting the responsibility of my own decisions, whatever they may be, is the key in keeping stable mentally.

Hope it helps.

enoughisenough

For the short while I was PIMO, I felt guilty when around those all in. I felt guilty in supporting their efforts to unwittingly seduce others into the org. A group got together for a memorial of a friend who had died at a "sister's" home. The whole time I was there, I kept thinking: if they knew what I really thought, I wouldn't be welcome here and they wouldn't speak to me. It was not a comfortable feeling.

ElderBerry

I think most people these days who go to church or another place of worship are not true believers they are the equivalent of PIMO JW. I know this is true of most Jews and Muslims too. Probably Buddhist and definitely all other sects have PIMOs or PIMQ.

It’s not that much of a toll. All through history you had groups get together in the name of religion or something similar and many just go with the flow for the sense of community and companionship. That’s why I’m still physically in but mentally out.

I suspect there are a high percentage of those physically in that have doubts but go with the flow. Even if not all of them view themselves as PIMO they may just think well I don’t know I hope what we believe as JWs is correct but we’re probably not correct about everything

DesirousOfChange

I suspect there are many of the “but it’s still the closest thing to Bible Truth” class. They’ll go along giving their tacit approval to any of the new doctrinal changes (new light) but just continue on doing things they same way they have always done. No blatant breaking of the “rules” but little indiscretions don’t count.

Mickey mouse

It was terrible. I managed it for a couple of years only.

enoughisenough

I am thinking the PIMO can't be themselves...they disown themselves to please others who would despise them if they let it slip what they really think. To some, it is worth doing that...but it would be interesting to know if/ how it effects their mental and physical health. I knew a "brother" who was gay. He was raised a JW. He was disfellowshipped for a while...but got reintated and "played games" with the brothers...He had a boyfriend "bible study" who came to meetings and sat with him. He would tell you there wasn't anything immoral going on ( and maybe there wasn't ) but the boyfriend did write him love letters and send him "gay" cards. I am bringing this up because, he was living a double life, which is what PIMO have to do. He was bi-polar and somewhat schizo. I have to wonder what part of his mental illness was caused from living a double life.

pontoon

Back when I was PIMO my main stresser was the huge amount of time I was wasting at meetings, getting ready for meetings, service, preparation for talks, meaningless association with the "friends" many of which wouldn't be friends who were not real friends just phonies.

BluesBrother

When I woke up to things I was an elder. I felt I could not quit “cold turkey” so fo a few months I carried on letting everyone know I was unhappy , depressed bla bla ….

I felt terrible in that time . No one likes a hypocrite and that’s what I was . At the next C O visit I resigned and have lived quietly in the shadows ever since.

Phizzy

BB, you are not alone in having those feelings, I had the same feeling of being a bit of a hypocrite for merely attending for a few months after I fully woke up.

Back then there were a significant number of Elders in my Circuit who had resigned, and just "lived in the shadows", all PIMO to some degree I would think, that was two decades ago, there must be MANY more like you today !

More quiet resignations to come, I hope !

But I feel sorry for people like your good self, it must be agony to be a PIMO in many ways. But we do it for our loved ones still in.

the toll of being PIMO

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