JWs that are trying to fade are most likely exposed by their own family members or their (former) JW friends. These people may be doing it out of concern (trying to "snatch you out of the fire") fearing that your everlasting life is in danger by your "sins". Occasionally if may be malicious.
If you are living with your boyfriend, I would see that as your most dangerous risk to your fading status. Living together, unmarried, evn without a romantic relationship, is a sin in JW World. They don't have to catch you having sex or have you confess to having sex -- just spending the night (one time) qualifies as "fornication".
Speaking negatively about the bOrganization to two persons (it can be at two separate occasions) who will testify to that fact can also get you called before a Judicial Committee (JC) for apostasy and DFd. So you must learn to STFU if you want a successful long-term FADE. You must learn to not voice the concerns you have about the Borg to ANY JWs. (Soooo many people here have tried to be honest with family members or supposed close friends, only to have them "turn on them" and reveal their confidential things.)
The best position (IMHO) is to be "stumbled" into inactivity. Your past experience with abuse is plausible. No doubt you became aware of the worldwide issue of "harboring" child abusers that has occurred among JWs. They were more concerned about the reputation of the organization than the interests of children so they had a "hush hush" policy directly from WT HQ. They are losing MILLION$ in lawsuits and settling even more out of court. Yep, that could be what stumbled you. (My wife and I, if backed into a corner and questioned, just say we are waiting on Jehovah to help in resolving some serious issues. -- (I might joke if I trust the person, that "We just are NOT waiting inside the Kingdumb Hall".) If it is obviously an attempt to get you to divulge damning information, you don't have to say a thing.
Good luck to you!
The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!
