by nowawake14 25 Replies latest jw friends
Not everyone in the world is as evil or bad as JW land teaches. But you do have to be discerning.
I'd go so far as to say 95% or so of people are nice and considerate. Its not different than in the church. The church just has them in a mental fog and at times demands they do unloving things.
“What to do when you're PIMO and dont want to date a jw?”
If you don’t want to expand your horizons beyond the JWs: Masturbate, preferably to Internet porn or with some personal satisfaction device.
If you do want to expand your horizons beyond the JWs: Start dating, but get a Virtual Private Network (VPN), secret phone number, post office box, or whatever you need to maintain secrecy if you are still Physically In (PI).
But if/when you become Physically Out, Mentally Out (POMO), then, well, f^ck it – you’ve finally got it made!
In other words the only JWS you should date is someone who has the same ideological stature regarding the JW religion, to do otherwise could turn out to be an emotional trauma down the road ....... been there myself
There are good people outside of the JW religion as there are some inside of it, you just have to be around the right time and place and be a bit self assertive.
If you are PIMO, why date a jw and give him or her false hopes, possibly have an oops child and face blood transfusion issues (as well as for yourself). If you want to date a non-jw, do it quietly and realize that you could be marked from the platform if found out, but no names should be announced, just a talk on the dangers of dating/marrying a non-jw. It is not a disfellowshipping offense unless you have had sex with each other and the elder body can "prove" it. In time this mark will go away when the elders start treating you as good fellowship (haha). Of course, if you are male and have "privileges" these may be taken away and given back some time in the future.
Do what I did. Date a non-jw.
Hey , I would just say "I am not looking to date anyone at this given time, so sorry" .I have done this when I was PIMI, PIMO as well. It works for me even POMO with people I have no interest in1
Zing
I was PIMO who dated and married a POMO. Then I became POMO myself. Its great! We understand each other have same escaped the cult mentality. Beining PIMO and getting involved with an in the box JW is setting yourself up for a load of trouble . There is growing exjw community, that is a great place to find new friend's and maybe even a romance, there is something to be said for having a shared background, failing that, stick to non jws, JW love has strings and is conditional , just my thoughts.
Well, nothing prevents you from dating someone who is not a JW. Sure, you won't have previledges and JW will not approve, you will also likely loose some friends and they might even do a marking talk about it. But you will not be disfellowshipped.
Considering that you are a PIMO, you will obviously not confess to anything, so, the only thing that can get you in trouble is if they catch you spending the night together somewhere.
If you want to move in together, nothing prevents you from lying and telling them that you actually got married.
If you're gay, its even easier: Its just a friend and you can move in together and say he/she is only a roomate.
its not that complicated if you are willing to lie.
The beauty of dating and marrying a non jw is that you can get away with anything! Holidays? no problem, just say your non jw spouse is doing the holiday and you are merely keeping the peace. That goes for any jw rules and regulations. Just blame it on the non jw spouse and the 'not saying a word' thing, go along to get along......active jw's who have non jw spouses have the best of both worlds so to speak. They get to hedge their bets (or mental imbalances if you will) and survive the big A even if everyone they love gets destroyed and yet they get to live the life of a non jw most of the time. Win win!
Damn nut cases, us ubm's bite our tongues while our jw's do all sorts of things that are not "allowed" but keep quiet so their authentic personality can shine through when no jw is looking. Hypocrites? yep. Learn the dance and enjoy the moments that come along.
Or leave the jw's all together and live your own authentic life without all the jw bullcrap. Life is short, far shorter than any of us realize until we are closer to the end than the beginning.
Just don't date a JW.
Since you are living in the lie for now, don't date anyone. It isn't really fair to someone that you have to keep them secret from your other life.
