I'm Fed up and I can't take it anymore!

by MTSman 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • MTSman
    MTSman

    I was born in four gen, been D.F.d. for about eight years now. My father had always been a true company man, although more times than I can count, he's always been floppy. Like we never really had a family study on a consistent basis. That little thing annoyed the hell out of me. Doesn't really matter, but when we did have a family study it was always after a circuit assembly, or district convention when he was at his most self-righteous.

    So, yesterday I stopped by parent's place because I hadn't seen their car in a few days. I called my mother and found out that my dad was in an accident and on top of that, my mom was in the hospital and no one bothered to tell me. Up until yesterday when I saw him sitting at the carts or wherever, I would stop and we'd talk. Nothing deep, and when I left I'd always say love you and leave. Today, I stop by to check up on him, and when I walked into his study room, he had one of the Org's pod casts on and I just knew what kind of reaction I was going to get. I smiled and said, "I was just checking up on you." To which he replied, "Why?"

    "Because you're old and I care," I said.

    "No need," he said and went on to tell me that the times I've had contact with him and mother is tearing her apart.

    At that point I shook my head and walked out all the while he's telling me that he'll call me when something comes up.

    I said, "Call me when he or my mother is in the hospital or dead." I'm done. I really love my family and friends that I left behind, but I just cannot stomach the self-righteousness. I can deal with the flip flops, and the whole 700 Clubifiying remake, but as far as the self-righteousness, can't do it. I've never been that way. I've always hated those who were that way and it appears that the more this fucking group evolves the more arrogant and self-righteous they get. I was so heated and hateful towards this fucking religion that I've pretty much resolved to never go back and therefore never talk to or see my parent's again.

    Ugh!

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Never cut yourself off. Leave that decision to them, so that they have to instigate it,

    Deal with it, and live with it. You remain here in, "This Wicked System of things", in their face, without mentioning it, but as a reminder, (the kind of obvious reminder they don't want to think about), alive and well and successful and evidence that what they insisted you believed in your youth was wrong.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Don't let strangers on an Internet discussion forums like Black Sheep or me tell you what to do.

    YOU know the facts of your life and your reasons better than any stranger.

    Or not.

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    My JW family drive me crazy too so I sympathise MTSman.

    For once I agree with Nathan you know your situation best. You know the ins and outs of your parents' personalities and how best to treat them. There's only so much a person can stand and you may have reached your limit. Only you know.

  • Ruby456
    Ruby456

    black sheep is right. get over your anger with some therapy if you want to keep in touch with your family. re-frame their self righteousness as conviction - everyone has this - just think of Donald Trump voters and you will see what I mean - your family are better than Donald trump voters (the more extreme ones) aren't they?

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    MTSMan, you are well aware that you're parents' treatment of you is the consequence of the org's perverted dogmas and practices.

    Whatever you do, don't return evil for evil, otherwise you/we are no better than the deluded self-righteous ones. Keep the door open - while you get on with your own life.

    I have recently been renounced as a family member and declared as "dead" by two self-righteous J.W. family members. My crime? I sent them factual media information about the org's Brooklyn sell-off, the use of a showbiz JW (Mr. King) in the R.C. video, as well as their use of a "worldly" company's music as soundtrack for the resurrection video. I was accused of saying "negative things" about the org!!! (not about God/Jesus/Bible)

    In many J.W.'s minds, Matthew 12:32 now reads, "....whoever speaks a word against the Son of man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the organization, it will not be forgiven him, no, not in this system of things nor in that to come."

    The unforgiveable sin has now been "clarified" in the J.W. psyche.

    Hang in there, and be ready to forgive their blindness - if requested.

  • Iamallcool
    Iamallcool

    I agree with Ruby, Nathan and the Searcher. It is best for you to have Anger Management Class or talk with therapist about your anger issues. I used to be very angry but I am not that way anymore. Just chill out at all times and you will be alright. I have been shunned etc too. Been there done that!

  • mrquik
    mrquik

    I've had this conversation before. I have a daughter & several siblings still in. I initially tried to maintain communication but got sick of the smug, self-righteous attitude. I understand; I was one too. But against company policy, I always talked with those kicked out. I have come to realize that family is not defined by blood ties. Family are those that love you unconditionally. That will stand by you. That you can count on. That want your company. I've had to accept that & move on. My wife, my other children, my in-laws & friends are my family. I'm content with that. Look elsewhere for your family....

  • scratchme1010
    scratchme1010

    I said, "Call me when he or my mother is in the hospital or dead." I'm done. I really love my family and friends that I left behind, but I just cannot stomach the self-righteousness. I can deal with the flip flops, and the whole 700 Clubifiying remake, but as far as the self-righteousness, can't do it. I've never been that way. I've always hated those who were that way and it appears that the more this fucking group evolves the more arrogant and self-righteous they get. I was so heated and hateful towards this fucking religion that I've pretty much resolved to never go back and therefore never talk to or see my parent's again.

    Just to put this out there. The way I dealt with that nonsense from my family was by flipping the story. I disfellowshipped them. I shunned them. They have the responsibility of looking and reaching out for me. That made wonders.

    You are acting exactly the way the WT wants you to. You are in the victim role, in the receiving end. Reverse psychology makes wonders.

    For as long as they are the ones calling the shots, you will be in the position of being mistreated. Change the story.

  • wannaexit
    wannaexit

    This is so sad. The religion just drives a wedge between families. It's a tragedy! But remember that your mom and dad are also victims of this horrid cult. I wouldn't cut them off completely. But then its up to you and you have to do what is good for you.

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