by Butterfly607 24 Replies latest jw experiences
Wow, some people really can't separate the thought / intent from the belief system.
Someone who is a JW might express themselves in "JW speak" because that is the shared environment you both exist in. As far as they are concerned, they are trying to help someone and do a kindness by being encouraging and they've taken time out to purchase a card, write a personal message and send it.
But some people can only transpose their own animosity onto every action.
Take it as a thinking of you
She may have gotten service time anyway
Do you think the sister sent that card on her own initiative or at the direction of the elders?
Simon-
I’m not angry at this person. Only the card and the sentiment was annoying- because I’m highly aware that the intention is good but the message isn’t. I’m not annoyed at the intent, only the message, which is an assumption based on religious programming.
I thought of responding to her only in a nice way. But I’ll leave it alone because I don’t want to invite any more “concern”.
By the way, people have a right to their feelings. She has a right to feel concerned and other people have a right to feel annoyed.
Infuriating...that she assumes you have issues when in reality she doesn't even know you. Unless you personally shared problems with her this represents total gall and nerve and lack of good manners. And further...even if their gossip mill has churned out mental, physical, emotional anguished plaguing you..still without real knowledge of your circumstances it is appalling. But given the way they roll not surprising. Ignore it.
Send her a Christmas card? just kidding.
In her mind she is just trying to help. You could help her by finding an equally uplifting Christian card, you know, the ones that have scriptures that jw's don't seem to know and get the deer in the headlights look when you ask them about those particular scriptures.
Or leave it be and stay under the radar.
We used to have a brother in our congregation who suffered from a serious mental health issue. He was well intentioned and if he heard a talk from the platform about sympathising with the brothers and sisters who were not well he was genuinely concerned and moved to action.
The only trouble was he would buy Sympathy cards to send... as in the cards you buy offering sympathy following a death. You can imagine how freaked out some of the recipients were getting those in their mailbox!!
The elders took him aside and instead of acknowledging his good intentions and suggesting that he buy Thinking of You cards instead, they read him the full riot act and put restrictions on him. He tried to kill himself, and ended up in hospital. When he was well, he was then chastised for trying to kill himself.
In the end, he left the religion. I don't blame him. But I always think about him because he was treated badly especially in view of his emotional state by power hungry men.
Simon, thing is she counted time for purchasing said card, thinking about and writing a message, purchasing a stamp and then actually mailing it. Could be an extra hour or two on the senders monthly report, depending.. Is how they operate I've seen it up close and personal. ( I was an elders study )
She is probably writing you as part of her informal witnessing hours. Responding only provides encouragement.
Have to say JW's have no concept of healthy boundaries . I'd do the Christmas card reply thing mentioned above for sure, too funny !!!!!!
