I would imagine that if you stopped going to meetings and then started going again, it would suck.
I don't think I could even IMAGINE.
The only reason I would go would be for the thrill of getting some smut on new events, or to be able to sit there and wonder how I ever believed and lived this way.
Being in N.Y. min, must be a never ending reminder of where you have came from.
Gumby