I finally got the courage to post on another thread - so figured I would introduce myself. As I mentioned in other thread I have been df'd for about 9-10 yrs. I was raised in the "truth" - although neither of my parents were never really stellar examples of good JW's. Starting having troubles while still in high school. Doubted some things (although I am by no means as well versed in the bible doctrines as some here) and simply started to feel never quite good enough. Attempted suicide at a young age and this was really the catalyst for me to see that something in my life was majorly wrong. So I went about trying to find happiness...
First I request help from my bookstudy conductor to find someone to study with me and attend meetings/service with as I knew according to the JW's I was "spiritually weak" - no response....fast forward about a year and I was requested to meet with the elders... this was all new to me as I had never had any run in's with anyone and so I went like a good little JW - as I posted in the other thread it did not go well - they read me a scripture about repenting...then asked for dirt on other youth in the hall... and when I refused to give them info about others or myself they read me a scripture about being evil and told me that none of my family or friends would be able to speak with me anymore.
I left home - stayed with friends until I got my own place - ended up married at after a while to a very abusive person (I was looking to belong) and got divorced within the year. Had my wild time, my sad and angry time...but I was fortunate as being so young I discovered that my "worldly" friends were my new family. Thanks to some very lovely, supportive and caring people today I am the happiest I have ever been - married to my partner of 6 or 7 years.
When I left I did not have access to internet and other than a few well intentioned people worried I needed deprogramming (which mostly meant converting to another faith)...I basically discovered all the joys and sorrows associated with having chosen a lifestyle contrary to everyone around me. I did not have any other ex JW's to speak with and until a sibling recently was df'd and mentioned finding a website a place of healing and closure I had no idea there was such forums as these.
I probably won't post much but I like to read everyone's diverse opinions on so many topics and as everyone seems to say it is very comforting in a strange way to see some of my own emotions brought to the front by others.