The following examples are true. Witnessed by myself and many many other JW's of my age generation.
They're examples of a successful fade, and a failed fade and what we can learn from them.
THE SUCCESSFUL FADE
SISTER C - She gets baptized at 19yo. Her dad is an elder, a very popular and well loved elder. Their family is wealthy and they're at the heart of the congregation. She's popular, attractive, gets invited to lots of parties and well liked.
One day her dad comes off as a an elder. A week later he's disfellowshipped. Then he leaves his family and lives with another woman (the same age as his daughter).
Naturally this is a hard blow to the family. Distraught, and under a lot of stress she stops going to the meetings. The odd occasion where she does turn up she puts up a brave face but is visibly upset at the whole thing. Then she just stops going.
2 months later she's living with a boy. 2 years later she marries him. During this, and to this day, she's still in good association with active witnesses. Still get's invited to witness parties, she even turns up to the convention with her husband and little child even though they dont believe it and make no pretense about it.
WHAT WE LEARN FROM THIS - if you're looking to leave, capitalize on any bad experience you, or your family, goes through. You're "depressed", "distraught" etc and people will be sympathetic.
THE FAILED FADE
BROTHER M - Brother M is very well read in matters of religion. He sincerely believed the WT for many years but the more he thinks about certain things they just dont add up. He decides it's not the truth and wants to leave. Unfortunately, he is married to a believer and his entire family are JW.
He tells his wife and family and fellow witnesses he trusts of his doubts and the things he's learned that are not made known to JW's. He decreases his ministry, he stop answering up. He's hit and miss at the KH.
One day someone he confided in about his doubts informs an elder. The body of elders harass him to meet with them. He agrees. His beliefs are picked away at, he's labelled an apostate (despite citing evidence for everything he says, even from their own old publications). He's called to a JC. He goes. He's disfellowshipped.
His entire family cut him off. Even though they WANT to associate with him they cut him off. In fact, in the days leading up to his DF announcement he's visited every day by his family just so they can see him on last time. They tearfully tell him they love him but they have to obey the elders or THEY themselves will be DF.
WHAT WE LEARN FROM THIS - Keep your thoughts to yourself. If you dont tell anyone, there's no way it can get out. Also, clear your internet history religiously after going on sites like this. If you agree to meet with the elders you're giving them the power they want to disfellowship you. Ignore they're calls.
Im sure you guys could add more tips to this but this if i could turn the clock back one year i wish i'd known this.