3 years in the making

Judgerussellford

Thursday while I was at work, a new elder stopped by the house (almost 3 years after fading) to encourage us to go back to meetings. Said everyone misses us. If you did, why not stop by and say hi every now and then? So after that impromptu sheparding call, I was informed about it when I got home from work, contacted an elder and arranged a discussion with him today. I've been dreading this for almost 3 years, but I've had 3 years to prepare so wish me luck everyone. Its gonna be a long evening. Hopefully he comes alone though I very much doubt it

LongHairGal

JUDGERUSSELLFORD:

I doubt he will come alone. The point is: why would you allow it? You should have met him at some coffee shop.

I remember making the mistake years ago when I was still ‘in’ of getting a shepherding call at my home. I always hated shepherding calls but this was the worst.

Even though I’m Out of the JWs many years and the point is moot, they would never be welcome in my Home for any kind of ‘official’ visit. No, I wouldn’t want them stepping over the threshold.

Judgerussellford

Why shouldn't I allow it? Does shunning him make me better than them shunning us? I should think not. I'd rather spend my time treating them they way I wanted to be treated rather than sending the damaging emotional and mental torment they, as a whole, do. Maybe that would be fulfilling the letter Paul wrote when he said to heap firey coals on your enemies heads. Or maybe rather the words of the messiah himself, that we should continue loving our enemies. THEY don't, and thats why most of the folks like us hate them. They don't feel pity because of thier bloodthirsty, member hungry leaders. But I feel pity for these misguided folks. So why would I allow it? Because it should be allowed. Because we weren't allowed the decency of it. And I did not come to a forum to be told to do one of the very things we had happen to us, to the people who did it. Thats not how change is made. Not a single person on this earth was born wanting to be hated. Not me, you, anyone here, anyone there. Thats why there's so much animosity between us and them. I will not shun just as I have been shunned. No, I will not allow shunning of anyone who is not a murderer or sexual predator, in my home. And as an individual, this man is neither one of those things.

LongHairGal

Okay. (Peace).

Then you should go for it!

Chezdale

Please keep calm. Eccl 7:9 Let your words be few.. there’s a lot in your head after 3 years. I made a big mistake with a similar encounter.

If you learned anything from the time you were in, try to button those lips! You have now a different view and have learned to look at the org differently. But you did that yourself. If you try and convince them of anything other than the narrow view the have. It will not end well. Take care. Let your words be few.

hey… just sayin!

Foolednomore

They(elders) are always dropping in for something. And I tell them the is no talking about my family or spiritual things anymore. They need to leave.

Mikejw

To fade properly you need to be not known as a JW at all

if you allow them back into your life you will postpone it

on the other hand if you say anything like you are not known as a jw they may announce you as no king a jw which would be a fade interruption

you need a good few years of no contact whatsoever

if you have had contact it resets the clock as it were

unless your not bothered by shunning then just go ahead and let them announce your no longer a jw

my advice is always avoid any contact with elders for a few more years then you will succeed in fading and even if it was found out you did something like a disfellowshipping offence then you still wouldn’t be shunned

BluesBrother

Hello Judge....

I admire your attitude towards them. I am still on speaking terms but they mostly leave me alone. When they come , they will want to put you on the spot to answer their questions. If you let them control the conversation they can tie a person up in knots and you would have to deny the faith completely to get out of agreeing with them.

Make them answer your questions. Employ a Socratic technique by giving them some unexpected questions to answer...

I agree with the advice to try and keep it friendly.....All the best.

joe134cd

I to am wishing you all the best. However be warned if you do decide to go down this path. It could very well end up in a JC. Just be prepared

Gorb

Take care I should say, old chap.

G.

3 years in the making

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