jws deny shunning, yet lie to not look bad

Ghiagirl

I recently decided to take matters into my own hands with my husbands family who have nothing to do with us. His mom has seen my son twice since he has been born and his dad has never met him. His family will pop in every few months, on top of that like in my last post ask for for money. what really pissed me off is my his family suddenly is best friends with his ex wife who is a jw. Even though his ex wife cheated on my husband with a ministerial servant, had an abortion, and continues to make my husband and I's life a living hell. But because she is a jw, all of a sudden They sit and tell me that SHE wants what's best for my family?! Excuse me. So basically I sent my husbands mother a text telling her I am disappointed you do not try to see our son, although we make it very easy if you wanted too. And I told her I do not appreciate her and her family telling my people my husband and I do not allow any of them to see our son. So on top of everything they are all lying to people. And we obviously know why....because these people are too ashamed and embarrassed to tell people they shun their son and grandson because of religion. Jehovahs people are supposed to be honest though aren't they? That brings me to mentioning shunning, his mother tries to flip things back on my saying, well you were raised a witness, I don't know where shunning came from. Wtf?! Are these people brain washed or just stupid. So in reply I said, well yes I was raised, I specifically remember sitting at an assembly one year, and the title of one talk was, Shun Your Loved Ones that are Disfellowshipped, if your family having nothing to do with mine isn't shunning, then I don't know what shunning is. And of course...no reply. Even on jw.org, they deny shunning! I don't even understand. Someone please explain. Also if any others deal with ex mates you share kids with that are jws. I just can't believe I have my husbands mother telling me his ex wants what's best for my family. You have that nasty woman and shove it. She makes my life a living hell, but suddenly because my family doesn't go to your meetings we are incapable of parenting and my husbands ex knows and wants what's best for us. Screw you people. Ignorant.

zeb

I recall an Awake with sorrowing parents on the cover with young person leaving through the front door behind them and the article saying what a great thing 'Shunning is".

What are they asking for money for? Why aret they going to their elders for money or the wts itself?

lurkernomore

As a father of two and having exited the cult a couple years ago I say cut them loose. Life's short God dammit.

My wife and I have made it perfectly clear to my mother that if she decided to shun us if we ever got dfd that she'd be the one losing out, as shed be the one to cut her relationship with her grandchildren.

You don't deserve to be treated this way oh and I would tell your husbands ex to royally F@#k off!

Live your lives and be as happy as can be!

Black Sheep

Don't tell them anything, even if they really need to know it. Just hammer them with questions until they have no option but to admit to the doctrine/history/statement they want to hide. If they are dishonest, use questions to corner them into having to admit it, then give them a guilt trip for trying to scam you.

carla

Why on earth would you want grandparents like that to have anything whatsoever to do with your children? Surely you have seen the posts here and elsewhere how grandma/pa try to convert the grandchildren, tell the grandchildren that the parents (their own children) are filled with satan or will be destroyed at the big A or try to sneak them to the kh while in their care.

Protect your children from people like this, you all will be better off now and in the future.

Communities and nursing homes are filled with lonely older adults who would love to become surrogate grandparents.

If the jw grandparents are willing to visit in YOUR home and have normal non religious (no mention of jw's, jehovah, etc..) play games, eat with the ENTIRE family and so forth that would be one thing but if they cannot or will not then you have some hard decisions to make.

alcyone

re shunning

there is kind of external / internal doctrine of shunning:

External: We shun murderers, thieves, ... according to the Bible principles. We do not break families, normal family relationship continues. see here: https://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses/faq/shunning/

this is what they pretend toward the public.

Internal: see the paragraph 7 here: http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/2016127

This is what the org teaches in the meetings, talk, conventions.

They can always try to trick somebody and pick the right version based on audience.

And I fully agree with Carla. Either they stop shunning or it is better not to allow grandchildren to spend time with them, They will try to instill Watchtower into the children' minds.

babygirl30

Im so sorry you are going through this, and believe me, I know all too well the pain of shunning. My parents shun me, and make NO attmepts to hide it in public, at family functions, etc. It was last summer at my family reunion that it all came out the LIES my father has been telling everyone as to why he and my mother do not acknowledge my existence!! That broke my heart...these 2 elderly adults vehemently deny that their shunning is religiously based, and instead say that it is ME and how I am pulling the wool over everyones eyes. Their ignoring me is not their choice but mine? That if people want to know why we dont speak, to ask ME?

The thing is, their delusion is so thin, that 99% of rational thinking human beings can see right through it - thankfully. And the lies they tell are ONLY believed by those in the org. Remember, thats what we were always taught...those the get DFd is because they werent repentant, not because 3 untrained men sealed their fate. And they will continue to point blame in your direction, as if their choice to shun was made by you. It is so sad and pathetic that they feel people are that dumb to believe it. Hugs to you and your husband. I would put s hault on any financial assistance to them...especially if they cannot even show respect enougj to you.

Vidiot

Once again, for the newbies, lurkers, and trolls...

x

...if you have to cheat to defend your beliefs, your beliefs don't deserve to be defended.

berrygerry

I agree with the other posts.

By the way, we all know WT specifies "to shun."

Get those toxics out of your life, and out of your children's lives.

Shun them.

Tell them until they decide to live like TRUE Christians, that you want nothing more to do with them.

March 15, 1955 WT

“Having a Form of Godly Devotion”
WHAT motive prompts our religion, our form of worship? Is it love for God, for what he is and what he has done for us? Is it done because we want to praise and honor him? Or is it based on what we hope to get out of it, because of some material benefits we hope to receive, such as being thought well of by others? Are we worshiping God with spirit and truth, or are we having only “a form of godly devotion but proving false to its power”?—2 Tim. 3:5, NW.

dubstepped

You can't get healthy interactions from toxic people. Don't expect it.

jws deny shunning, yet lie to not look bad

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