An Odd Request from Our Ex-JW Son

by TMS 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TMS
    TMS

    My wife and I, both out of the religion for nearly twenty years, live in the same border town as our 44 year old only son. We have scant contact with our numerous JW relatives, although a handful of clever "double life" nieces and nephews socialize with our son.

    We care for our six year old grandson weekdays while our single parent son makes a living. We've been infinitely better grandparents than we were parents, primarily because of our exit from a high control cult, but also because of life experience. We've successfully conveyed a sense of being loved, security and self-esteem to this young one, who was rescued from a desperate, drug-challenged early life with his bio mother. I should add that we used Christmas as an excuse to buy him a laptop during his kindergarten year. Somehow, without much help from us, he learned to read in short order.

    The son calls daily and we typically share notes about our strategies with the young one. Sometimes I'm asked to supplement or reinforce a concept our son is trying to convey. A couple days ago, my son said: "Dad, Jack and I have been talking about the difference between a theory and a fact. We touched on the big bang theory and the theory of creation. He should know both, right? Oh, by the way, could you teach him the basic Bible stories? I don't want him growing up not at least knowing the details of what other kids are being taught."

    This was new ground for me and enlightening. I explained the Big Bang and the concept of a creator without pushing either theory on the grandchild. I found myself also explaining that each church feels "their God" is the actual Creator, the "true god," referring to the Baptist Church across the street, the Pentecostal Church on the next block, the Catholic Church downtown and the Jehovah's Witnesses who come around from time to time.

    What a relaxing, unemotional discussion it was. Jack laughed at the thought that each church thinks their god is the true one. After about a half hour of semi-serious talk, he said: "Grandpa, do you think I could play Minecraft now?"

  • Saename
    Saename

    Was it the request from your son (to teach his son some Bible stories) or the request from your grandson (to play Minecraft) that you found odd? The title indicates the former, but I, being an atheist, don't find it odd at all, so I'm in need of clarification, it seems.

  • TMS
    TMS

    Saename: "Was it the request from your son (to teach his son some Bible stories) or the request from your grandson (to play Minecraft) that you found odd? The title indicates the former, but I, being an atheist, don't find it odd at all, so I'm in need of clarification, it seems."

    The title mentions an "odd" request from a son. The grandson asked to play minecraft. Hope that helps.

    For others who read my short article, the request to relate Bible stories and discuss the theories of creation/big bang seemed odd because our son, like us, is a former JW. Since none of us continue to believe the Bible, it never occurred to me that it would be important to just know common traditions, myths and theories about the origin of life, just to understand what others are talking about and their point of view.

  • Simon
    Simon

    I think it's safer for kids to hear the creation / bible myths from people who will correctly teach them as stories and myths than people who will relate them as historical facts.

    Being atheist doesn't mean you don't teach people about the bible and religion or the dangers of them.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Being atheist doesn't mean you don't teach people about the bible and religion or the dangers of them.

    Perhaps it's like teaching your kids about contraception. It's not an encouragement for them to run right out and have sex. It's about educating them about the consequences, and helping them to become responsible decision makers when that day and time comes.

    I wish someone had taught (warned) me about JWs while I was still malleable to listen .

    Doc

  • TMS
    TMS

    doc, simon, others:

    The retelling of these Bible stories makes them seem exactly what they are; myths. Although a bit rusty, I did venture into Adam & Eve with my grandson. When I got to the tree of knowledge of good and bad, I didn't name the fruit. . . so JW of me. My grandson said: "I think it was an apple." I have no idea where he heard that or if it was an original thought. When I got to the cherubs whose flaming swords would prevent re-entrance into the garden, it all seemed so silly. And why would the soil just a few feet away from the garden's entrance be so terrible that growing things became such a drudgery?

  • scratchme1010
    scratchme1010

    A lot of young parents believe that exposing their children to everything there is (of course, age appropriate things and in a language that they can relate to) to let them decide what/who they are, but also because hiding certain things that people believe or do creates distrust in parents.

    I wish I had a parent who took the time to explain things (even the JW stuff). At a tender age I was hearing about bestiality, fornication, horses being followed by death, you get the point, with no context and in a language I didn't understand.

    I think "teaching" is a strong word for letting them know about the existence of the bible and its content. Being exposed to the reality of what the world contains is not a bad thing.

  • millie210
    millie210

    I love the balance you and your wife as grandparents are providing to your grandson.

    Although there are a host of reasons to complain about a JW upbringing, for purposes of simplicity we can all agree that it is highly unbalanced and produces young adults ill equipped for the world.

    Thanks to your son and yourselves, your grandson is being spared that. I think that is wonderful.

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Cultural literacy demands he knows such things. I was so darn ignorant I thought memorial day was the anniversary of Jesus's death. You and son did good.

  • smiddy
    smiddy

    TMS , This is a very good topic.And i would commend your son and you for going down this path.

    Your grandson is going to get a reasoned and balanced view on the subjects that will better equip him as he gets older and can make informed decisions on his own.

    It`s a pity that other religions /cultures/ ideology`s , didn`t adopt a similar approach to teaching their young ones.

    smiddy

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