Ahh, Vander where to begin but I'll race through a few aha moments. Comment made in public talk how dangerous it is to rely on your own thinking/understanding -- then why did the creator give out brains. I knew first hand the problems/issues of the irresponsible, dependent, people, and the pecking order of the clique(s). Another comment by an elder in big clique how we go on serving Jehovah no matter if there's an end in sight - yeah when we die must be the end so why should I listen to this muck and be miserable here. The scripture (Matthew?) re/heavy burdens and tired come to Jehovah and felt no peace/rest in this asylum. The scripture re/religious leaders placing heavy loads, burdens, hit me like a ton of bricks and I knew it was all fraudulent.
I witnessed first hand within first few mos the hypocrisy/horror of the flock -- calls for free legal, jobs, (cleaning, yard work, etc., errands and handouts -- everything from wanna be designers/contractors, you name it) and I do admit there was one person who was dependable and took her job serious. Also, some good elders outside of a couple -- only knew on surface level (and that's enough for me) but I never relinquished my own busy social life nor extra curricular activities/college plans for child/nephews regardless of couple of hard-liners' demands. Didn't care what they thought nor did I ban my child/nephews' extra curricular activities. I've never met so many irresponsible people in my life and many can't help the way they've been reared/brainwashed but the conniving misfits (bad guidance from clergy class at the top/Gov Goons and inside leaders. Felt sad for the kids. The religion failed adherents miserably instead of helping them be independent, trust worthy, autonomous, individuals, and to work hard or you don't eat -- that's Rule #1 in my book.