Conversation with old friend (page 3)

I quit!

I joined a 401k at work while I was a JW so I must have been having some doubts about what they were teaching at that time. Right after I left I decided to save enough to buy a house. A few years before this jdubs were selling their home to pioneer or move to "where the need was great". A lot of them never recovered from that blunder. I'm retired now and don't have the financial worries many of the jdubs I knew have that spent their whole lives believing Watchtower lies.

pepperheart2

and before 1990 the watchtower was getting money from the general public as well.

LongHairGal

IQUIT:

Very wise of you to have prepared for retirement whether this was because you were ‘having doubts’ about the religion’s teachings or because it’s just plain common sense!

As for those JWs that you mentioned who sold homes, etc. to go ‘where the need was great’ (a repeat of the ‘75 mistake)…and ‘never recovered from that blunder’ - they are among the ‘needy’ there looking for handouts. This is in addition to those who hardly worked and were in the ministry for decades.

I made it clear to my friend mentioned in my OP that I’m glad I’m not there and would not tolerate being in an environment where I would be targeted to give money. What others tolerate is their business.

ThomasMore

LHG - It takes a lot to stand up against the pressure that some (in virtually every congregation) apply to females who decide to get the training they need to care for themselves financially. You are an inspiration!!

Recently i have heard of sisters getting professional degrees - and taking a lot of guff for it still. But, like you, they realized that no one was going to give them a handout. This trend seems to be more prevalent among sisters than brothers.

Social Security benefits will likely be reduced by 2034 and many will find their sole source of income to be less than formerly when it still was insufficient. It makes me very sad to see JWs who will be affected even more severely in the future than they already are.

LongHairGal

THOMAS MORE:

Thanks, but I didn’t do anything so spectacular. I was just doing what was expected of the average young person raised in a non-JW household.. I came INTO the JWs already with the job.

In my home and in society in general it was expected that girls as well as boys would get college/careers.. When I entered the backwards world of Jehovah’s Witnesses I felt I was in a 1950s time-warp with Stepford-type women.. But, I did not let their attitudes stop me from doing what I had to do - which was work.. I did the best I could in the religion for somebody who worked full time.

But, these JWs wanted total ‘surrender’ - which I would not give them. I could not help but notice all the older people were collecting their pensions. But, yet they were pushing poverty on me(?) ..I might have been young but I wasn’t stupid. I just disregarded their unwanted advice and minded my own business. It would seem I was the only one minding my own business since all these people were in everybody else’s business!

LongHairGal

UPDATE:

I had a nice conversation with an acquaintance who is also close to the one mentioned in the OP.

We discussed all the things I talked about in the OP. We are on the ‘same page’ so to speak. This is a very smart retired professional lady who experienced the adversity that I experienced because I also worked. (Although she always took shit and abuse from elders as I think she was looking for approval.) Both these people are people pleasers whereas I am not. I was brutally honest with her which was fine because so many years have passed since I saw her. I told her because of what I experienced in the religion I would not tolerate these people as I had no use for them.. I was disliked because (1) I worked, (2) didn’t do favors and (3) had a decent figure I got criticized over. As they say: Three strikes and you’re out.. People even criticized her for bothering with me back in the day.

She is imagining that there’s hope I might ‘feel differently’ because the religion is ‘so different’ and the ‘end is so near’. Fat chance. We ended our conversation on a pleasant note.

DesirousOfChange

I was disliked because . . . I had a decent figure I got criticized over. ~ LHG

While that sounds a little unbelievable on its surface, it is exactly what happened to my wife when we moved into a new Cong. Two of the elders' wives had "widened out" in middle age and even made openly pejorative comments about her "size 6" in her presents in a service car group. Yes, it was said with a smile and "Bless Her Heart" kind of attitude. It took my wife a bit longer to realize how malicious they could really be due to their jealousy.

The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

LongHairGal

DESIROUS OF CHANGE:

No, it’s not ‘unbelievable’… But, in your case, your wife was married. She was ‘protected’ because she was with you.

I noticed that other attractive women in the hall who were married were not scrutinized to the same degree. A single woman was treated as though she were a threat to everybody! And forget it if she worked and wasn’t doing favors for all the Users!

The two women I mentioned are/were married with children and didn’t have quite the ‘same’ experience as I did, but are well aware!

Foolednomore

LHG- when I was single and well to do because I had education/career, I would have single sisters and some with children try to get into a relationship with me. It was encouraged in my Khall. On top of that endless local needs talks on materialism and not doing enough for the Org $ wise after I show up to a meeting in my Benz. To me it's just a car, it's Overrated and over priced. But reliable.

LongHairGal

FOOLEDNOMORE:

Yes, that’s the way it is.

But, as a ‘brother’, you were more accepted and desirable because there are so few men there nowadays. And, men who have a decent job/affluent are going to be chased after. If you’re good-looking that’s a plus.

Conversation with old friend

Share this