These memories and feelings sometimes play in circles in my head and looking for comments on how others handle this?
Our feelings are caused by our thoughts and our thoughts are only as important as we allow them them be.
Like any bad habit, it takes about 6 weeks of concentrated effort to unlearn the habit of dwelling on unwanted thoughts, but it can be done.
Write your unwanted thoughts down as they occur and write down the conclusion you've drawn about these thoughts. Then write down a positive statement to replace the unwanted thought.
Example:
Negative Thought: "I wasted my whole life as a JW"
Conclusion: "The past is over and it can't be changed. I don't want to waste anymore of my life over this matter."
Positive Thought: " I have learned valuable things from my past but I choose live in the present moment and to live my life one day at a time"
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Negative Thought: "I'll never get rid of the anger from being a JW."
Conclusion: "A lot of things happened to me that should never have happened but millions of people have overcome worse experiences than the ones I had. I can rid myself of my anger as well."
Replacement Thought: "I am in control of my thoughts and emotions and I choose to think positively about the future."
Collect as many of these positive thoughts as you can and memorize them. Practice them 3 times a day for 6 weeks by physically writing them out and saying them out loud as you write them. When you catch yourself dwelling on your JW past, start repeating your memorized thoughts over and over (silently or out loud). This can be done just about anywhere and at just about any time.
Remember. Your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between the past or the future. Your body will physically react in the here and now, to whatever you're thinking about in any given moment. That's why, for example, you can physically blush when thinking of something stupid you did 10 years ago or you can feel a wave of anxiety just by thinking about something worrisome that might happen in the future.
Your positive statements need to be in the here and now.
For example, instead of saying, "I'm going to be a more positive person who tries to live in the moment", you should say it as if it is already so, "I am a positive person who lives one day at a time".
It sounds too simple to be effective but it works. In time you'll begin to catch yourself early on in the negative thought process and you will arrest them and replace them with positive thoughts. Eventually they will occur less and less often. You will be able to apply this skill in many areas of your life besides with the JW problem.
