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Vanderhoven7

Welcome. Looking forward to more of your story.

welcome and feel free to share your thoughts in the forum. WT has re-write its own history and hide lot of disturbing facts. I consider to be one of the "luckiest" ones since my dad had all the early books Russel/Rutherford era and when I decided to fade out, it was due to reading those books and not the so called "apostates"...I left in the late 90's at that time was in my early 30's and WT changed so much that I hardly recognized it. It is a long journey my friend, but when you find the TATT (the truth about the "truth") then you only wish to leave all behind

besty

Welcome to the forum MOC, and to the rest of your life :-) Right now you are still a JW, sometime soon you will be an ex-JW and eventually hopefully you can graduate to ex-ex-JW. And then you won't be on this forum so much...

But for now, in my experience (most of it on here somewhere) the big things are:

1 - make sure to know that most people on here are supportive (sometimes misguided, mistaken and misspelt so take it all with a pinch of salt),

2 - that you have time to plan and make the best moves for you and your family. Try and treat it as a game you will win, and try not to be too rash, difficult though that is.

3 - do not worry about 'what' to believe next - you have plenty of time to figure that out - it's ok to give yourself permission to accept that now you don't know the answer to some of the bigger questions, and also to accept that you might never know. In short, don't rush towards an alternative belief system. It's one of the big advantages of the Internet that the only exit door from JW'ism is no longer manned by Evangelicals. Atheists/agnostics have a different door you can choose to walk through.

4 - Give yourself permission to accept that many of your life choices so far are not your fault. You have been brainwashed in a cult and are starting a journey to recovery towards a more standard way of thinking. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. :-)

5 - Accept that you will eventually be shunned by some, whether you are disfellowshipped or not. There is no honourable way to leave this religion. That's the way it has been set up against you by others. In time, think carefully about fading versus being disfellowshipped. There is no right answer for your circumstances, particularly not from strangers on a web forum. (You may decide that your time on this planet is not a dress rehearsal and that the inevitable years of deception to possibly maintain conditional friends and family is not worth it for you). Consider carefully how much longer and to what extent your life will be ruled by 7 grey men in grey suits from a grey office block in Brooklyn.

6 - Post any/all of your thoughts and questions on here. I have never seen a decent question not get a bunch of answers.

Wishing you the best of luck, you will need it.

Paul

PS www.jwfacts.com is the best resource for unravelling the doctrines and claims of of JW's, and was instrumental in helping me get my wife out with me.

mrsObfuscate

MarkOfCane

Thank-you for putting your story out there and for sharing a part of your emotional journey.

I loved your comment/quote -

There is nothing more horrible than the murder of a beautiful theory by a brutal gang of facts.

I am thankful that I had a great deal of circumstances that led me to finally see TTATT, although it was still heartbreaking. From the story you have given so far, it would seem that you weren't given as soft a lead-up, as I was perhaps, to be exposed to the reality of the organisation. I can only imagine that the rollercoaster of emotions that resulted would have been overwhelming.

Welcome, and I hope that the experiences and information from others on this forum will continue to help you to get through this life-changing period.

stuckinarut2

Fantastic post! Thanks for sharing your heartfelt comments.

This is a wonderful community of supportive people who have travelled similar paths. I have found it an invaluable place of support and validation that confirms that I am not alone in seeing TTATT (the truth about the truth)

As you travel this path, don't allow yourself to be overcome by the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) techniques used by the society and elders.

Keep your dignity, calmness and self control. Don't be pushed into situations that cross inappropriate boundaries. (Eg if elders try and push conversations you don't want)

As is often said on this site: "the greatest revenge is to live a happy and successful life"

Diogenesister

anyways what are the odds that they would show up as I'm typing my delusional ramblings about my awaking. I just thought it bizarre, if they where writing this story they would of said the angles sent them...LOL. So I Got a meeting with the new CO any thoughts?

If they showed up at a random motel miles away from anywhere remotely connected to you and found you posting at 03.00 am...maybe then you might have reason to suspect the angel connection....NB drug dealers usually turn up at peoples doors just when they are trying to get clean too!!!

Beautiful share...relate to not being " allowed" to truly grieve as a JW, its seen as a weakness. So glad to know you...any friends you make here are unconditional xxxxx

FindTheLost

What I really found interesting is this:

"This young couple we studied with never really asked us any question just went along with what the “Teach Book” said and what my take on it was. Well that changed that morning she had some prepared question that I would have never prepared for."

Do you think this "study" waited till you and your wife were more at ease and disarmed before attempting these questions? Do you feel they were waiting to witness to you about TTATT?

And,

Did you ever go back to the "study" and answer the questions or discuss your findings?

BTW, I am pretty new here too, so forgive my curious nature with questions and welcome to the forum.

James Jack

Welcome, MarkofCane.

I very much enjoy your story, as it mirrors many here.

Thank you for taking the time to post. I can remember 5 years ago and looking into this site and began wondering how could I allowed myself to be so controlled by this Organization, "moving to where the need is great:, the wife and I Regular Pioneering a total of 38 years, serving as an Elder, COBE, Convention Speaker etc. And for what?

Only to be let down and made to feel you are not doing enough!

The Generation change in 2010 was the beginning for me on my new found journey. Yes, many tears shed with disappointments of expectations unfulfilled. In my 50's now and trying to come to grips that I am mortal and the day will come that I will die! That sucks!

Though I am still active as a JW, the wife is on board with me. We worship Jehovah on our on terms. Many things that are dispensed from the platform with no Scripture backup, we just ignore it. Nobody influences our decisions now. No guilt trips either about missing meetings to take about 10 mini vacations a year(3 or 4 days off in a row). Life is to short and there are many "beautiful places" on this planet to visit to get your batteries recharged. My wife and enjoy being together and LIVING LIFE!

steve2

Welcome Cane! Your story resonates with me . I'm so glad you took the time to post here.

In my earlier years of coming to terms with the organization's embarrassing origins, I spent much time in "silent" thought and wondering about it all at local cemeteries . And, just like you, I could not fully answer householders'/Bible Study questions about things Russell (and later Rutherford and Knorr) had said and done.

I felt so ignorant over the organization's own history.

To be able to clearly think through these sorts of issues/questions is incredibly important. Fact is, most Witnesses can't be bothered to do so.

The organization has effectively "raised" generations of Witnesses who are simply ill-prepared, if not ill-equipped, to do the necessary thinking. And when you finally realize what has been hidden, the shock is profound.

We stood as little more than hypocrites when we criticized the members of the churches of Christendom for lazily leaving matters of docttine in the hands of their leaders when we as Witness were the same.

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