What is wrong with my family?

by Nickey 38 Replies latest social family

• 

  cruzanheart

  Keep us updated, Nickey. As for the panic attacks, I got them too after I decided to leave the organization. I'm still in therapy after almost a year (but not only for that). I left for a lot of reasons, but the final clincher in my heart and mind was when I realized that I didn't want to spend forever with these people and if I had to obey their asinine rules which bear NO resemblance to what Jesus taught and if ONLY those rules would get me into the New System/Order/Paradise, then never mind. I will just make the most of every day I have with my family on this beautiful earth (Central Expressway excepted) and trust that the loving God I learned about will consider that good enough for Him.

  We're with you 100%!!!

  Nina
• 

  Francois

  Nickey, "Ghost" in her response to you above, hit the nail on the head. In your situation there's is no better friend in the world than a savings account with a bunch of cash in it, especially if you're New York bound. There's hardly a more expensive place on the planet to live and without money, you're at the mercy of a merciless place. If that's where you're going, check out the rents (be sitting down) as cramped two and three room apartments can and do go for over twenty-five hundred dollars a month. It's amazing. I think that's why so many people find rooms to rent way out in Brooklyn and ride the train to Manhattan. But whatever, prepare yourself with lots of cash. The last thing you want to do is to have to go back home for lack of cash and listen to all the "I told you so's". Then the next time you attempt an escape, the noise will be louder and more strident.

  Plan ahead, go slow, be smart, save up, move when the timing is right.

  francois
• 

  Ravyn

  Francois is right...in fact--find a nice place in Jersey.

  Ravyn
• 

  Rainmakerone

  cheer up
• 

  avishai

  I find myself getting more and more angry everytime they whip out an article the society has written on being obedient.

  Good, because that reads "Co-dependent" to me, they are using sick power & control moves on a fully grown woman. One definition of co-dependency is the inability to make decisions for yourself. Which is exactly what you are programmed for. How many times have you been told to avoid independent thinking, hmmmmm?
• 

  Nickey

  Well.... I went to New York:

  With a BLACK eye.

  Yeap... think it's time I put some miles between my family and I. But, I still had a good time in New York. I enjoyed myself better than I thought.
• 

  outnfree

  They did NOT hit you for "insubordination"!!!!??? Please tell me no. Please tell me it wasn't from your boyfriend, either!

  Glad you stood up for yourself, though. (((Nickey)))

  What sites did you see? What did you like best?

  outnfree
• 

  DJ

  Nickey,

  Hi, I have a daughter named Nikki. Who gave you the black eye, sweetie? Tell us how your trip was and what you are doing now, ok? love, dj
• 

  caligirl

  Glad you had a great time! And good for you for standing up for yourself. So tell us all about your trip!!
• 

  Bendrr

  You mean literally you had a black eye?!

  Call the damn cops! I don't care who goes to jail, call the damn cops!!! Look, you are in a really fuc*ed up situation that you need to get out of RIGHT NOW. To hell with the emotional consequenses, there's time to deal with that once you're SAFE. We can exclude the religious aspect and still see that NORMAL parents don't tell their 22 year old daughter that she's just a child and has to stay at home. Your family has some serious problems and needs professional intervention.

  Now you're really seeing the extent to which many Jehovah's Witnesses will go in order to maintain control. I remember when I turned 18. Now 18 in Georgia is a legal adult, you just can't drink. (It's 18 Francois, not 21) But you can legally enter contracts, vote, go in the military, you're not considered a minor. I remember having plans to "get out of Perry". I was told that while the law may consider me an adult at 18, I'm not really an adult until the elders say so. And as far as I know, the "wise" elders of Perry have yet to consider me an adult at 31.

  Yeah right.

  Here's the deal. You are an ADULT. You've been an adult for 4 years. (I think 18 is pretty much universal in the U.S.) So if you're still living with your parents and they have the kind of control over you that you're describing, you'd better not be handing them a rent check every month. Otherwise, it's time to find someone else to hand that rent check to. I'm getting the impression that the control goes beyond psychological and into literal physical control. And in that case, it's time to get the law involved.

  Whatever you do, just GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT HOUSE!!!!!! But I will say this. Don't use a relationship for that purpose. If you're planning on moving in with your significant other, make damn sure you're not getting into yet another bad situation. I notice you said you were going to New York to "patch things up" with your boyfriend. What exactly were you "patching up"? Is this a relationship with a real future? Err on the side of caution. Get out of the parents' house either way, but do it right the first time.

  And keep us posted. If you need any help or someone to talk to, we're all here. My email address is in my profile.

  Mike.