Proms

by Nikita 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  Nikita

  One of the things I longed to do as a teen was attend a prom. I dreamed of one of my jw "crushes" asking me, but it never happened. But, I did have an old school acquaintance ask me in Senior high. I had known him since 3rd grade and in fact in the 3rd grade he was my "boyfriend." He was a sweet guy. I went to Phila. High School fro Girls he went to Central High (for boys) right down the street from me. So we often ran into one another at the bus stop.

  I was totally stunned when he asked me to his prom! But, as you can imagine, being a good JW gal, I had my nice pat answer for him, "Well, I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and as such, I don't believe in dating someone unless I might be ready for marriage."

  I can still hear myself saying those words! I can still see the look in his eyes-was it a look of disappointment/hurt/disbelief that someone he'd thought he'd known could render such a reply? It is a sad memory for me and this time of year gets me to thinking about him. I know he is a grown man now with perhaps a family of his own, but in my mind, he is still that 18 year-old sweet, nice-looking fella who I turned down.

  Leslie
• 

  Room 215

  That's a shame Nikita, as opportunities such as that are irretrievable. In my case, or rather that of my daugthers, I allowed them to go as long as they went with a JW date; I know many liberal-minded JW parents in my area did the same. They either turned a deaf ear to meddling elders, politely told them to mind their business, or called their attention to the plethora of problems experienced locally by hard-line JW parents who struggled to raise their children ``by the book" and had either failed or had serious problems (in many case these were elders' children).
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  SpiceItUp

  ((Leslie))

  By the time of my Senoir Prom I wanted nothing to do with the witnesses. I bought my own dress from what I saved working Part time.

  I never liked any of the boys at my school but I had a great friend that was my age but not at my school that I asked to go with me. He agreed and we had a great time.

  Oh and no debauchery or sex was involved as we were just good friends. Throw that Prom cliche out the window for me.

  Sorry you didn't get to go to yours Nikita. Just make up for it when your class reunion comes around.
• 

  Nikita

  Rm215, yes, they are so irretrievable. In my own case, I was my own worst enemy, as I don't know that our Elders would have been as hard on me as I would have been on myself! Does that make sense?

  Spice, I wish I had come to my senses before the highschool years had ended! I'm glad that you did!

  My sadness is more for the fella and how I treated him, than for me.

  Thanks for the replies!

  Leslie
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  TresHappy

  I never could understand the ban on proms. I remember an old JW friend of mine went to her prom anyway and got an earful from the elders. What a bunch of nasty ol' elders!
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  sandy

  I understand how you feel.

  Being the heart breaker that I am ( J/K)

  I still think about him from time to time too. He never seemed to fit in. He moved by the middle of our junior year.

  The funny thing is 2 months after I turned him down I started dating a "worldly boy". I was living the ultimate "double life". LOL I can finally look back and laugh at some of this ridiculous stuff. I always regretted not attending the prom with my "worldly" first love. The reason I didn't was because I had good JW friends at my school. I was afraid they would find out.
• 

  bittersweet

  Nikita, I totally know how you feel. I wasn't allowed to go to my prom, even though I was engaged to a witness. My mom still wouldn't let me go. I was so dissapointed that I wasn't able to go. Funny how I could be allowed to be engaged, but not allowed to go to prom. To this day, it makes me feel sad. I really wanted to go. I feel like I missed out on a lot of stuff from high school, and that was just one of many.

  I try to make up for it now!
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  Billygoat

  I sooo sympathize with you Nikita! I wanted to go to Prom so badly and never could. I would even just settle for a silly Fall Ball and that couldn't happen either. But I know if my child wants to go to Prom someday he/she will. If they want to be a football player/cheerleader they will. My kids will have every option open to them. I cry sometimes for my childhood. It still breaks my heart. My child will never look back at their childhood they way I did. I will do everything I can to make sure their childhood is fun, happy, and full of LOTS of love and opportunities!

  Andi - of the "can't wait to be an awesome mother class"
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  undercover

  I didn't go to my prom. In factI didn't have any social contact with anyone I went to school with period. I was a loner in school. And since we lived on the very outreaches of our congregation's territory, I had little social contact with kids in the hall. There were a couple that were close friends, but hardly no social interaction outside of that. I had no contact with the neighborhood kids, most of them within a couple years of my age. I was that "weird kid that goes to that weird church". I grew up learning to rely on myself for entertainment(felt guilty bout that too. The WTS banned masturbation ya know). Learned to escape into books, movies and television. Even as an adult, I was apprehensive about any social situation. I did alright at congregation picnics and such, but anything outside of that, I felt terribly inadequate to handle. Even now, out of the org. I still feel apprehension at some social situations. It's getting better, but I hate I spent half my life not enjoying a lot of things I missed out on. And things like school dances, proms, etc. are memories that I will never enjoy.
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  NeonMadman

  Well, I've told the story before, but I'll summarize it quickly here. My date for the senior prom was my girlfriend from my senior year of high school. She was wonderful, and we had a great time. After the prom, we drifted apart; I got baptized as a JW two months later; she went off to college the following year.

  Eventually, I married a JW woman, and the marriage was a 23 year long disaster. Finally she divorced me based upon her own adultery, for which she received a private reproof from the congregation. The only good thing that came from that marriage was a terrific daughter, who (unfortunately) still has one foot in the JW's (she's inactive, but still - I think - believes a lot of it).

  After my JW marriage broke up, I was determined never to darken the door of a Kingdom Hall again. I already knew it wasn't the truth - I had only stayed in as long as I did to keep my family together. So one night, I looked up my prom date on Classmates.com and emailed her. Turned out that she had married, too, but had been widowed a few years before. We had dinner together for the first time in 32 years. A few months after that, I asked her to marry me, and in October of 2001, I married the most wonderful woman in the world. A happy ending for me, indeed.