My Mom died last week. (page 2)

cofty

I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences. It must have been good to hold a decent conversation with your brother. I hope that can be the beginning of a more normal relationship.

I`m sorry for your loss and offer my condolences to you S.T.A .I hope now that the ice has been broken between your brother and you ,that he has mellowed enough to have a more normal relationship with you and that you can be brothers supporting each other as you both are getting on in years.

Wishing you all the best .

carla

So sorry for your loss, wishing you peace.

Sea Breeze

Very sorry for your loss. Wow, 97... that's up there. Sounds like your elder brother is starting to realize that Armageddon may not come in his lifetime and that this life is important to live. Hopefully yall will talk more after this.

Still Totally ADD

Thank you all for your kind comments. Little more information on my older brother. He is 77 years old and is a elder. We are 11 years apart and we were never close. He has always treated me like a step child instead as a brother. He is what he is and I have accepted that. He told me 10 years ago that he felt he would die in this system. So deep down there are doubts in his mind.

My Mom in many ways was kind and loving to me but her mental health was always in the way. I learned at a very young age to avoid her certain times of the month. She would be so, so parts of the month then for about a week would be very happy and loving. That's when I knew the misery would begin. Anger, hateful speech, violence and screaming. I would just stay away during that period. There would also be times she would be having screaming conversations with people who would not be there. I learned from her doctor 10 years ago she was most likely suffering from paranoia schizophrenia. After Dad die it worsen to the point she wanted to kill my wife. At that time my brother took over taking care of her and we moved to PA.

Anyway that's the short story of it all. I will work on thinking only on the positive things she did and was. Life is to short to dwell on the negative. Again thank you all for all your kindness. Still Totally ADD

1234

"I felt sad, happy and indifferent this last week about her death."

What you are feeling is very normal. Don't think just because you don't feel different or more that you are not effected by her passing. It takes time to process all this.

That old generation of JW parents were not the easy to live.

I felt every thing you did when my JW mother passed away 37 years ago but I was mad also because she could have made things so much better for herself and those who were around her.

Like you, I was happy too on some level.

Why? Because her pain was finally over. Not her physical pain but her emotional pain from a very tough life.

My mother died with a lot of secrets as that generation didn't like to talk about their feelings very much, making it tough to draw close to them.

They did the best they could and I would like to believe they are in a better place now....Who knows maybe we will all be reunited in some way....some day....when all the mysteries will be made known.

eyeuse2badub

Condolences my brother! Always tough to lose mom! Great to hear that you and your brother have been able to talk to each other. Who knows, you may even be able to "witness" to him about why you left the borg and help him see that it's never too late to learn ttatt!

just saying!

RubaDub

Still Totally ADD ...

You are not alone. Many here feel the "entire experience" that you present that has affected all of us, in one way or another. I guess that can be said for virtually everything in life. Like the old expressions says, "You can pick your friends but not your relatives." But there is no silver bullet, no guarantees. Even people we pick can cause harm in may ways .... think of the high divorce rates of people we have "chosen."

I'm not the psychologist in the room. But I can understand the hurt, frustrations and pain.

If there is any compassion in thoughts and words, then Still Totally ADD, most of us here understand, to whatever degree, the pain we go through.

Peace, please, peace.

phoenixrising

Sorry for your loss. Its absolutely normal to feel relief of the death of someone who is suffering. Its also normal to feel guilty for feeling relief. The steps of grief are something to familiarize yourself with if you don't know them. I remember when one older mans wife died in the hall and he went to meeting that very night and everyone thought he was crazy. But he died a week later. People do some weird things under stress. When my mother passed away I sent my wife to put tires on my truck and went into hyper mode to find a part for my water heater. My brain needed distractions and could not deal with it immediately. Some of the dubbers looked at me like I was callous. It has nothing to do with lack of emotion but I had to stay busy to no become over whelmed.

dropoffyourkeylee

My condolences

My Mom died last week.