If your Absence doesn't affect them, then your Presence never mattered! (page 2)

DesirousOfChange

So very true. But it still kinda hurts when you realize that.

Doc

I think I mentioned this in another thread that you started. I don't know weather to be insulted or thankful for their lack of interest. I guess it's a bit like been upset not receiving an invite to the party that you really didn't want to go to. Hehe. I guess your out of the cage but still in the zoo.

LoveUniHateExams

Excellent quote, stuckinarut2

And it really does apply to JWs.

I never really thought of it like that before.

freemindfade

But this is not a thread to moan about being neglected...it is actually a powerfully refreshing thread that helps us to see reality, and move forward with confidence in living a real life by making REAL friends.

100% agree!

Beth Sarim

''And it really does apply to JWs.

I never really thought of it like that before.''

Being a JW couldn't be more lonely.

Tornintwo

So true. It does hurt though, because we were told this was the most loving organisation on earth, that this was our real family, that we were all there to support eachother etc etc. so not true. The love is conditional on you being a happy and productive, silent and obedient cog in a very large machine. My teenage kids found this the hardest thing about leaving, they knew something wasn't right yes, logic told them that, but to see how quickly the 'brothers' dropped them and moved on without a second thought, how little effort was made to reach out to them, of course it hurts. But it just tells us all it was never what we were told it was.

My non jw family have always stuck by us, even when we made decisions they didn't understand or refused to celebrate their most treasured events, that's real love. Now I'm glad we can repay them by being there for them instead keeping them at arms length whilst serving a manmade organisation.

FadeToBlack

@Tornintwo: I have had the same experience. My mother and sisters never gave up on me despite the pain I caused by my decision to be a JW. Trying to regroup now.

Sabin

Joe234, what you say is so true, we all know what is going to happen when we walk away, hell, we all did it to others at some time without stopping to think of the emotional trauma it caused them. So why does it hurt so much? You don't want to mix them you don't agree with the nonsense that goes on behind the scenes so why does it affect us as badly as it does?

I have a theory, JW'S are always banging on about how much persecution they get & how unfair it all is for them to be treated that way. We are indoctrinated with it, when we walk away it is a shock to realise that the persecutors are actually them & we are now one of their targets. We really have done nothing wrong except to say NO, I wont let you blow out the light inside me that makes me who I am. It isn't shunning in itself, we have all experienced that person who doesn't like us for what ever the reason & shuns us. It is all the other crap that comes with it. The constant cruelties that they will go out of their way to inflict. Like trying to take work away from you, gossiping in groups if they see you out etc, & you know that it is forever, that they will never stop. A youngster wont just get D'ed for smoking, they will get an entire character assassination. It runs deep.

Our absences doesn't affect them because when we were present all we were was a number.

THE BASTARDS. LOL.

stuckinarut2

Yes, dont get me wrong, it's not that we actually want attention from the cong and elders....

LongHairGal

I agree.

My absence from the religion does not affect them, since my presence never mattered. But, I am not offended in the least but, in fact, am relieved.

They only miss big contributors and people who do favors for all the users!..People like this will be stalked and harassed...Glad it isn't me!

If your Absence doesn't affect them, then your Presence never mattered!