What Happened To All Your Friends??? (page 2)

Outaservice

WHY, I'VE STILL GOT FRIENDS I HAVEN'T EVEN 'USED' YET!

Outaservice

avengers

After you left or got DF'd, did you regain your past "worldly" friendships or were they forever lost?

After 30 years of being JW you don't have any "worldly" friends.

So there's nothing to regain, except freedom.

That alone makes it worth it.

Andy

RAYZORBLADE

Didn't have many worldly friends, except a choice few in high school and where I worked (while I was a JW).

Of course, as I became more deeply engrained in JW life, I slowly gave-up my worldly associations/friends.

My JW friends, I think I had a couple. Really. In retrospect, I can't say I had more as a JW, in fact, I think it was fewer, but...you know how it goes within the JW lifestyle.

When I was either DF/DA'd (who knows/who cares) - I was stranded, lost and depressed. Interestingly enough, over a couple of months and a year later, I began to develop what seemed like 'impossibilities' with regards to worldly friendships.

These people were so cool. They were unconditional in their friendship with me.

Looking back, well.....I was a complete fool. Blinded, not by light, but by slight of hand and false doctrinal interpretation.

Ugh!

hurt

I didn't burn my bridges. Much as the Witnesses tried, invoking the "friendship with the world is enmity with God" scripture all the time, I still kept my (wordly) friends. Some of them left quite alright, or, we driftd apart, somehow, but the bulk of them remained my friends. We still darnk together, even while I was a JW. There were things I didn't allow dub life to take away froem me. And I made new 'friends' in the Org. But of course, they're weren't friends. If I was under any illusion that they were real friends, that evaporated the moment it was clear that I couldn't actively support Witness teachings again. They simply stopped talking to me. A few still do some polite talk; but it's clear, in a practical way, that having a friend who "sticks even closer than a brother" within the org is a trully rare thing. With 'friends' like that, no one needs enemies.

xjw_b12

It's amazing how quickly the 'friendships' you have in the WTS dissolve - we're talking minutes, not months or years !!

CJ and I had a freindship with one couple in particular, that we allowed to fade, once we got married. They had children, we had children, but the only contact we ever had was to " bump into " while shopping.

After we had made the final decision to " never go back ", I decided one day just to pop in and say hello. Needless to say, they were a little stunned, but welcomed me anyways. Since that day over 5 years ago, that have become some of our closest friends. We had a lot of catching up to do. We had 2 additional children, they had never met, they had a son since we parted. Our oldest had moved to Toronto, to attend school, their oldest daughter, was attending University in town.

We see each other on a weekly - semi-weekly basis, ( they joined us yesterday to attend our daughters parade ceremony for " the Battle of the Atlantic " ) and we even plan our camping vacations around each other's schedules.

It is that form of " true friendship " that convinces you, the love that jws profess is just an illlusion. As Simon alluded to, those so called friendships with jws simply evaporated.

We have developed many other freindships, with people we have since met, including a women, who I originally attended grade school with. What a great moment that was. Her and her husband and us have also become good friends.

The way we see it, the majority of those we called friends, while jw's were counterfeit, though there are a few, who I know miss us, as we miss them, but their mental shackles, prevent them from having any association with us.

Their loss.

xjw_b12 " Millions Now Living Will Never ~~Die~~ Know "

minimus

I think my wife is starting to question her "friends" at this point. She's getting back with her "worldly" family after 25 years!

Sentinel

It was quite a sad thing for me to have family and friends systematically go by the wayside when I was just fourteen. I could no longer visit them or call them. I could not accept invitations to parties. I could not have them stay over at my house. But I was an obedient child, and I wanted to please god. The JW's quickly replaced the emptiness with all their initial welcoming rituals, including our family in everything. We began to do things we'd never done, like travel outside our little town to big city WT conventions, etc. We felt part of a big picture--something special. They lived by different code, even different language. New words replaced old ones.

Although my friends didn't understand, I felt an urgency to do as commanded. I felt sorry for them, knowing they were doomed to destruction; and on the other hand, felt blessed that we were going to be saved at Armageddon. I felt like I had to try to help them see the "truth", so over the years, I had opportunities to give a "witness" to them. They listened, but showed no real interest. These were good and loving people who simply existed "in the world".

There were three very good girlfriends that I had since first grade, and over the years, I missed them terribly. I kept up with their lives only at a distance. They didn't understand, and how could they? During the last ten years of my borg life, as I hung on the shirt tails of old habits, not wanting to lose family and new friends, I made a real effort to call them and try to re-establish old friendships. By the time I made my firm departure, out of three, I am still very close to one special friend; I still maintain contact with the second; but the third has gone by the wayside. That might have happened anyway, as her whole lifestyle changed.

Family that was close to me before, were glad I had "come to my senses". Because my mother felt I was not privy to any information about my friends in the borg, she was very closed-mouthed about my inquiries. Sometimes she would say something about someone, that they had married, had children--whatever. I do know that two younger sisters had nervous breakdowns in their early twenties. They had to send one away....I have often wondered what happened to these poor individuals. I have been unable to re-connect with any friends that were "in" and are now "out". I consider myself most fortunate to have been able to get out and get my life in order. Knowing the ordeal that I went through, I do ponder about the outcome of others, that I may never see or hear of again.

rocketman

Besides a couple of at-work type friendships, I have but two that have been maintained while out-of-borg, and those are now both tenuous because I am no longer active.

Big Tex

What Happened To All Your Friends???

Back in the 80's when I was depressed and dealing with abuse issues, all my friends (save for 3 or 4) treated me like I was radioactive and wanted nothing to do with me.

But God is kind. I lost most of my JW friends and now I've replaced them with all of you. Some posters I've met, some I haven't and some I would love to meet.

Life is what you make out of it, isn't it?

JH

Some friends I never did let go, even as a JW. Remember, I joined at 26 years old, got baptized at 28, so I was mature enough to know what I was doing. I found it rude and radical to quit seeing friends all of a sudden.

I never had many friends, because I am somewhat independent, but I did have a few loose friends. I never saw these people as bad associations even though they were totally worldly.

In life, roads cross and you meet people and become friends with them for a while, then your life changes, your interests change, so you don't see them as often. That's the way life goes. Often friends become enemies for all kinds of reasons.

I rather think of old friends as friends I don't see anymore, rather than say they aren't my friend anymore.

In life we continuously make new friends, we learn to discover new people who are willing to be our friend for a while, as long as our roads cross.

I'm making cyber friends on internet with you guys here. Even though we are hundreds of miles apart, our computers bring us close to each other. We all have a common background as a JW, and I am glad to share time with you all. I hope it's reciprocal.

What Happened To All Your Friends???

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