I have tried really hard to be worldly, for ten years, tried to get worldly friends, and get back with family.

Sledracer

I am so bad at being worldly, it's not like I gave it a good try, we are just not good at it my husband and I, I see him light up as he has started to read the Bible again. I'm good at being a witness, I am accepted, and hold the same beliefs, I have tried to find somewhere else, if there is a place, why hav'n't Jehovah and the angels directed me to it? Thank you for all the loving posts, some of them have been just what I needed. The name calling and mockery almost made me leave.

leaving_quietly

So many who leave one religion feel they need to replace it with another. You asked, "if there is a place, why haven't Jehovah and the angels directed me to it?" JWs will often say, "where else would we go?" alluding to what Peter said to Jesus. However, Peter didn't say WHERE. He said, "WHOM." "Lord, whom shall we go away to?" (John 6:68). Even Jesus didn't say to go somewhere. He said, "All those whom the Father gives me will come to me, and I will never drive away the one who comes to me" (John 6:37) and "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever puts faith in me, just as the scripture has said: ‘From deep within him streams of living water will flow." (John 7:37, 38) and "Come to me, all you who are toiling and loaded down, and I will refresh you." (Matt 11:28)

elderINewton

All of us desire to be individuals, not worldly. Worldly is just a way of saying one is not bound to rules and regulations of the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society.

For many that do leave that does not preclude them from having faith or even reading the bible. I know many individuals whom were never Jehovah's Witnesses and yet the read the bible daily, meditate on it and have great faith.

If the son of man had no where to lay down, should we assume the same? Just as leaving_quietly so eloquently stated its whom.

I'm sorry that some made you feel mocked, and or named called. Its not civil. Religion can bring a lot of emotions to the table for many. After all many feel that they are only one with real knowledge.

Vidiot

Don't try to be "worldy".

That's - arguably - a (mostly) made-up pejorative, anyway.

Just be a whole person.

It's a lot less stressful.

Giordano

I am so bad at being worldly, it's not like I gave it a good try, we are just not good at it

You know I understand what your saying. There is a consistency to being a JW, a sense of belonging as long as you don't rock the boat.

I also loved your Why aren't the Elders taking us in the back room?

Best discussion titles! Your FU sign off was well timed. Lucky I had just swallowed my coffee .

Well I hope you don't forget us so pop in and let us know how every thing is going.

Best of luck and best wishes.

Gio

OneEyedJoe

Yeah like Vidiot said, it's not about being worldly. Just be yourself.

You say you fit in because you all have the same beliefs, but I've found that it's much more rewarding to find people that accept you for who you are, even if you have differing beliefs. It's nice to know that someone likes me for my personality and not for what deity I do (or don't) believe in. A JW will drop you in an instant if you decide you don't believe exactly what they do - what kind of acceptance is that? If it can dissolve so quickly, was it ever really worth anything?

Read the bible if you want to. "Worldly" people read the bible too. Just don't limit yourselves to only associating with JWs if you meet normal people that you like that aren't JWs. There's no reason not to accept those people as they are without forcing your beliefs on them. Being "worldly" also doesn't mean celebrating christmas, but it does mean that you can if you want to and no one will shun you for it. It means you can decide for yourself what is right for you. If something makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone else, then why should you feel like you're risking all your relationships by doing it?

Crazyguy

Jesus said do not exalt yourselves and do not judge. Stop treating people differently and you'll be happier.

LongHairGal

"Worldly" is one of the stupidest words the Witnesses use.

Stop thinking of yourself as "worldly" but as a "person". An "individual".

And just because somebody leaves the Witness religion doesn't mean they have to adopt habits, trends and language of people who are in the gutter. That's what the Witnesses want ex-Witnesses to do, that way they can point and say "see what happens, etc."

If it's your thing to be "prim and proper", that's okay, and don't let anybody tell you otherwise!

millie210

Sledracer,

Being tucked inside a religious structure has its appeal.

Anyone who would deny that is denying the great success organized religions have enjoyed over thousands of years.

It meets a need.

It fills a place.

It gives comfort, friends, guidance and tangibility to group beliefs.

Honestly, I would still be a Witness if it were only the beliefs that were questionable.

I was one of those people who pushed away my doubts by telling myself that the good outweighed the bad.

Then 2 things happened.

One,

a family member of prominence got in to a "situation". Someone was after his head and watching that go down was amazing. I saw a Circuit Overseer lie to Headquarters. There was money involved but I wont bog down in the details. I saw documents that had forged signatures (the forgery was committed by the Presiding Overseer. Bethel sent a committee.

The forgery brother got his hand slapped privately. The C.O got hand slapped privately. The entire body of elders had to get with the wronged party and apologize (again privately). So basically they got up and slandered a good mans name from the platform calling it an "announcement". and when they got called on their shenanigans that could not be handled with an announcement. It had to be handled quietly and "privately".

That is when it hit me that the standards I though were so solid gold were actually done on whim.

I wish I was intellectual enough that I could have left for a "higher" reason but it was just getting smacked in the face with a shovel and seeing that ultimately, no one is flying the plane that gave me permission to walk out.

so after some time and with some urgings of a friend came reason number

Two

I attended what would be the equivalent of an old Tuesday night book study but his one wasnt the Witnesses.

It was the Seventh Day Adventists. I saw a very similar format. Similar belief structure, similar support mechanisms.

That experience )it lasted 3 months) seemed to evaporate the last of the mystique the Witness experience held over me.

To see them have such feet of clay in my #1 and then to see that other groups (and there are many) have as much to offer as they do - which I found in step #2 did a lot to help me.

I think that is why your post resonates so much with me. You are expressing what you think you need to do and that is exactly what you should do.

No one can find your way for you except you.

So go back. See how it works for you.

If it doesnt work you will have clarity as to why.

If it does work - then good.

You deserve to be happy.

Lostwun

At the end of the day, Its you who determines your own happiness. Its not our place to judge or criticize you for your decision despite not understanding why you would ever go back to that.

Hopefully from what you have learned from being on both sides will help you not to become a judgmental witness again judging those who no longer share your same enthusiasm for the religion.

Best wishes

I have tried really hard to be worldly, for ten years, tried to get worldly friends, and get back with family.

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