"Get Over It!" (page 2)

stan livedeath

bethellite---were your kids ever really in ?

JimmyYoung

I would tell them to get over me not getting over it.

All of our experiences in life add up. The good and the bad, the helpful and the unhelpful, the pleasant and the unpleasant, the positive and the negative, as well as all our 'highs and lows'. Once we have seen, heard, felt or experienced something it becomes part of who we are. There is no 'reset' button to our lives or a subtraction button like on a calculator that we can use to remove things from our consciousness and human experience. The sum total of every minute that we draw breath makes up 'who we are'. You seem to be a very 'sensitive' man that is caring and considerate. A very fine trait to have although it can cause unnecessary suffering at times. No doubt, your children may have inherited the tendency to be 'sensitive' ( I mean this in the most positive and meaningful way) and therein could lie the problem. When you share with them your thoughts and feelings about your life experiences, especially with the Jehovah's Witness religion, it may produce unwanted reactions inside of them and they may want to 'push away' the unpleasant feelings by stopping the conversation midstream and announcing that 'you should just get over it'. Of course, they have their own set of negative life experiences that they have to deal with and probably are overwhelmed emotionally sometimes just trying to get through life still struggling with the excess baggage of being raised as a Jehovah's Witness. Maybe it would be best for all concerned to sit down and have a heart to heart discussion about your 'common' issues. Honor your emotional pain, and allow them to honor your pain . Honor their emotional pain, and teach them to honor their pain. When the 'common issues' are brought out into the light of day, talked over, examined and acknowledged then they will begin to lose power over your life and the lives of your children. I wish you all the best, Keith. Some of my life experiences are similar to yours and I have fellow feeling and compassion for you.

Remember:

"At any given moment, there is more right with you than wrong with you." - Jon Kabat-Zinn

silentbuddha

I might get blasted but I have to say that although I didn't make the best choices I dont feel the years were a waste.

1. Being a JW kept me off the streets that claimed the lives of classmates.

2. It gave me my wife

3. It gave me my children.

4. Say what you chose but the theocratic school made me unafraid to speak in front of people and I was/am far more skilled at public speaking them almost anyone I met. Which helped my career and allowed me to be very successful.

There were some negatives, but at some point you have to realize that had you never been a JW you could have just as easily been fucked up in a variety of other ways

LongHairGal

SPARKY1:

Your post is excellent!

SILENT BUDDHA:

I’m glad you found some good in being a Witness. You are not the first person who said the theocratic school helped them with public speaking. That’s a good thing. You are also correct that you cannot know what your life could have been if you weren’t a JW.

I came into the JWs as a young adult because I was interested in end time prophecy. I also needed a change of scenery and different friends. Well, at least I stopping smoking. I held onto my job and resisted peer pressure to quit...When the time was right I walked away from the religion.

Did I “get over it”? As SPARKY said above: every experience we have shapes us so you don’t totally forget it. But, the bad experiences lost their sting. Hell, the people involved are either dead or very old.

So, would have to say I have moved on. I just want the world to know what goes on there.

Xanthippe

'Get over it!' does sound harsh. Especially if your kids still complain about what the religion has done to them.

Life isn't fair that's for sure, I guess I just want to even up the odds a little. I don't want this cult to take my whole life. The plus side is I now think for myself and refuse to listen to nonsense from anyone who doesn't have evidence. I won't get caught up in the ridiculous spending at this time of year because I see through advertising. I don't want to impress my friends or neighbours. After you've lost your entire family and all your friends you're over impressing people.

So the truth has set me free. Ha ha! Free from all the nonsense that keeps people on the hamster wheel. This isn't what the cult did for me though, it's what I've done by reflecting on my early life and not wanting to be a slave to any ideology ever again.

jws

For me, the thought of JWs ebbs and flows. They were a cult. Growing up with them affected our lives. You can't always just "get over it". If somebody steps on my toes, I'll get over it. But that's a minor offense compared to the JWs.

Even if we're out, they are still ruining the lives of many others. How can we get over it when they still exist?

It still affects my sisters who are still in. Even after I left, when my dad was still alive, it affected our relationship and I had to walk on egg shells to keep talking to him. How could I get over it back then?

If people can get over it fine. I find myself consulted often by a friend who was NEVER a JW, but gets knocks on her door and wanted to know the best way to avoid them (I recommended she say she's disfellowshipped). But she's become interested in cults and asks questions or sends me things she's heard about JWs. Like the Melboure protests before I saw anything on this site. She's anti-cult, but her questions keep bringing things back to me. I feel like I'm helping her learn about cults, but it's still not letting me "get over it".

I think I'm better off than others. I feel as though I've completely left them behind while others in my family still had that guilt that they needed to get right with Jehovah eventually (which I helped cure them of). Their insistence on examining things to find out what's right and follow that, even if it was against what I've learned so far lead me to examine Christianity and religion in general and reject it.

But the upbringing has had effects good and bad that can't be forgotten and shaped me into the person I am today.

dubstepped

Some people don't get it because they have nothing to compare it to.

When exjws are dismissive I find that it's often projection. They tell you to "get over it" because they totally aren't dealing with it and when you mention it this makes them look at something that hurts them. They're just trying to shove it down, they aren't processing it or working through it. They don't want to because it hurts, so they don't like you doing it.

Anna Marina

The breach of trust is massive. I feel its a public safety issue which others need to know about. Why? So they have a chance to stay free and not be harmed by it. The Watchtower is not the only one that uses psychological/sociological/spin techniques to entrap others.

Ray Franz did what he could and although it took time for me to find him and others like him, I appreciate that someone somewhere was trying to reach out.

We all do what we can. The Bethelite - at least your children have been given a chance to think for themselves.

The Bethelite

SPARKY1:

Your post is excellent!

I would have to agree! I guess all this is really more complicated than we will ever know.

If all of us "just got over it" than none of us would ever come to this website or websites like this. I believe places like this have helped a lot of people to "get over it" to some degree at least. So I guess I thank god some of us haven't got over it....Everyone makes a difference and we all do what we can. I salute everyone here and thank you for your wise words!

"Get Over It!"