This question can also apply to those of us who post on the board. Sometimes, it is easy to come to assessments that are not clearly correct. We like some personalities and dislike others. So we may make judgments that are partial because we assume a certain position against or for an individual.As a rule, I think it's best to give a person the true benefit of a doubt rather than classify a person as undeserving.
Do You Tend To Give People The Benefit of the Doubt Or Do You Mostly Judge?
by minimus 28 Replies latest jw friends
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Guest 77
Benefit of the doubt. When it comes to business, they sign on the dotted line.
Guest 77
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blondie
I try not to make snap judgements. That is why there is a phrase "jump to judgement." But over time a pattern may develop. Isn't that why there is a phrase "to reserve judgement"?
It is possible to judge a behavior and not the person. I feel this is necessary if that individual might cause you or others harm. But I think many people overuse their "propensity to judge." When asked why she did it, one woman replied, "Because it makes me feel soooooo good."
I'm no mind reader and don't want to be (Dead Zone).
Blondie
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StinkyPantz
Minimus-
The people that are very judgmental will most likely not comment on this thread. Who wants to admit that they can't see past their own perceptions? Who says, "I am close-minded and like to make judgment calls before I get to know the person"? Most people won't even admit that to themselves, let alone others.
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Guest 77
Yes SP, 'a liar is not going to tell you he lies, nor a thief telling you he steals!'
Guest 77
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minimus
It could be difficult to think that we are guilty of making improper judgments, especially if we percieve ourselves to be intelligent, fair minded and a good judge of character. Those that feel that they are in tune with people or feel that they indeed know how to peg people usually are the ones that have a hard time connecting with others. Their own lofty opinions make them become believers of their own words and condescending of other's views.
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Odrade
I think Stinky is right on that one.
The people that are very judgmental will most likely not comment on this thread
Growing up in such a judgmental environment, I've had to take a hard look at myself. For myself, I tend to act like I trust people until they give me reason not to. I'm suspicious by nature (or maybe nurture) and tend to trust my gut--based often on nothing more than facial expression or body language when someone is talking to me. I trust my instincts, even though I know I tend to be suspicious.
I try very hard not to act on my suspicions though. Just wait it out and see if I can get a better read. Sometimes I'm right, more often I'm flat-out wrong in my judgments.
All the rules go out the door when it comes to email and message boards. I try to give all messages the benefit of the doubt, but I take a long time to trust anyone with my own personal information. I have never been drawn into a flame war, and moderate or own a couple groups myself. I always feel at a disadvantage in text because there are no faces to read. If something seems hostile, I assume it came out wrong until given reason to believe otherwise. I will, however, immediately step in as a moderator of my own groups, and try to calmly and detachedly mitigate damage done by misunderstanding. I have to admit though, it's not always easy. Sometimes there's this part of me just screaming "What a jackass!!!"
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SheilaM
I am very open-minded but I do read people very well sometimes I wish I was wrong
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Thunder Rider
SP said,
Who says, "I am close-minded and like to make judgment calls before I get to know the person"? Most people won't even admit that to themselves, let alone others.
I admit it. I used to give the benefit of the doubt freely and to all. It made it easy for people to take advantage of and abuse my kindness. Fool me once shame on you......
I've chosen to err on the side of discretion. I keep it close to the belt. Me and mine are too precious to risk. While I do not automatically attribute insincerity of action to the new people I meet, neither do I accept on face value. Genuine people can't help but be genuine, and do not mind earning the friendship and trust of others. They are givers rather than takers. Those with ulterior motives or agendas however, are always looking for a freebie, a hand out, blind acceptance. While there may be a wonderful individual somewhere behind it all, I apply my efforts elswhere.
A lot can be gleaned from the written words of others. Here on the board, attitudes, prejudices, strengths and vulnurabilities are easily read between the lines of a members posts. Its not hard to see if they are full of compassion, or just full of themselves.
My break from the Org. has forced me to realize that my time on this rock is finite. Thus I have no time to waste on those who might after a time "grow on me". I know who I like and I like who I know.
=}>>>>>>>>>>>>
Thunder
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drwtsn32
I definitely give people the benefit of the doubt. If they do something that appears to be hurtful, I usually think of alternate reasons they may have done what they did... reasons that would be ok excuses.