My Husband

by Soledad 26 Replies latest social relationships

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  Shutterbug

  dry drunks are worse than wet drunks in many regards

  Man o Man, did you ever hit that nail on the head. Before I retired a bunch of us would leave work, once a week, and go to the local wine shed, drink some beer and tell war stories. Well this one guy always stayed after the rest of us had gone home. Until one day he announced he was no longer drinking and had "found Jesus." Did he ever become a royal pain in the a**!! Since he wasn't going to the bar anymore he expected the rest of us to follow his lead until one guy got in his face and told him, in no uncertain terms. to butt out. Then he decided we were all a bunch of drunks. Oh well, takes all kinds. Bug
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  think41self

  ((((Soledad))))

  I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Been there, done that. You've received some good advice, especially about getting counseling. You can SEE what his problem is, now you need to SEE how his problem has affected you and changed you.

  My current husband and I both came from alcoholic relationships and families. He felt SO strongly about it he wrote a series of articles and established a website, including a discussion group. You may find some of the articles very interesting.

  It is: www.empoweredrecovery.com

  The ultimate decisions are yours. You have my sincerest best wishes.

  Tracy
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  shera

  I grew up with an acoholic father and he died at the age of 43.My mother did what she could to help him and nothing could be done.I have even been with a drunk for over a yr and it is hard.

  If you have done what you could and HE won't help HIMSELF,than its time to leave him.I know to a point what you are going threw and I know it has to be driving you crazy.You don't deserve this,if and when you do leave him,make sure you will be safe.

  ((((soledad))))

  Heather
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  lurk

  maybe he needs some one to love him and see beyond his problems .....the world loves to call ppl losers
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  Shakita

  So sorry Soledad you have been going through so much. Alcoholism is painful for everyone involved, not just the abuser.

  My Grandfather, his sons, my mother, and now my sister were/are all alcoholics. My Mom stopped only because she was throwing up blood so much she couldn't keep the booze down. My sister has been in and out of rehab for years. I feel so sorry for her, but what can you do? Ultimately, it is up to the alcoholic to accept responsiblity for their actions. My sister went to a counselor years ago when she first went into rehab. The counselor told her that alcoholism is genetically passed on to children and that this "disease" runs in our family. My sister seemed very pleased with this information, like it gave her an excuse to drink. I don't think this helped any, she just got worse after this. She is currently out of rehab for the upteen time, she sobers up enough to go home and start all over again. She is killing herself, and no amount of help given to her has stopped her from going back to the bottle. It is very frustrating to sit back and watch someone you love kill themselves.

  I feel so bad for you Soledad because I know that the road ahead is a very difficult one, I can only add my voice to others here who said to seek out help for yourself. The stress involved in caring for an alcoholic can also destroy you.

  Take care.

  Mrs. Shakita
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  SheilaM

  Dry drunk...one that isn't drinking, is miserable because of it, and wants everyone else to be miserable too.

  A dry drunk is also someone that has been raised in an alcholic family but NEVER drinks. My Father was one of these, he had all the personality traits of an drunk (rad asshole) but yet never drank. I finally read a book about this a few years ago it was amazing to see that I grew up with two dysfucntional people that had been raised by alcholic fathers.
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  Guest 77

  Soledad, you said, "...gosh, he was even drunk on our first date...' What can I say except, you've been given plenty of food for thought.

  Guest 77