what sort of reactions have you gotten when talking to other jw when telling them the "truth about the truth"?

by AmIright 32 Replies latest jw experiences

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  keyser soze

  I've only talked to one, who I still considered a friend after leaving. He opened the door for me by telling me about his own ordeal in which he was nearly disfellowshipped for apostasy.

  I proceeded to tell him why I no longer attended meetings, and all the things I thought were wrong with the organization. He agreed with me on many points, even admitting he didn't believe that JWs had the absolute truth.

  This was a year ago, and I haven't heard from him since. I reached out a couple of times by phone, but he never called me back.
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  3rdgen

  I have shared a few of my "true feelings: and mistreatment with only 2 of my closest JW friends.

  The first sister is a model JW who comes from an exemplary family full of elders and COs. Her husband is a prominent local elder. They have been to Gilead, served where the "need is great", reg pioneered, you name it. I was close to her because she didn't have a hypocritical or judgmental bone in her body- extraordinarily loving to all. Interestingly, neither of her 2 grown children are active. In fact one was DFed for years and married someone at a Catholic church! The other was constantly in the "back room" and eventually faded.

  When I briefly let her know what "stumbled" me her reaction was: Her face grew pale, she became agitated and upset and simply said, "Don't tell xxxxxx!!! (her daughter).

  The other sister, the personification of love and tolerance is a convert. Incredibly intelligent but indoctrinated at a vulnerable time in her life. Being the only JW in her entire family she has always "done her own thing" often breaking witness rules at holidays, birthdays etc. She never pressured her children to be JWs and they aren't. In the past she admitted she disagrees with the blood issue and disfellowshipping. Yet, when I confided that I am no longer a JW in any way, she also seemed upset and her question was, "So are you an Athiest?" Sigh.....
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  Gefangene

  My mom instantly let me know that she's refusing to listen to anything "discouraging" starting her tape of "without-Jehovah-i'd-be-dead-by-now". When I said that i wasn't on a mission to drag her down she would tell me that there's no way to do so. she is sooo indoctrinated
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  Finkelstein

  
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  oldskool

  The Elder that responded with the most empathy, and could see I had a point, eventually was the harshest at my spouses JD. We secretly taped it, and you could here him trying to be a hard ass with the other two elders in the room when they discussed it privately.

  Most others basically blow it off. They are emotionally tied to the society. It's like telling somebody to disown their mother. Until they've had enough of the abuse, they won't see the bad in what's going on.

  Closer family eventually left, mainly because we paved the way and let them see that leaving could be done. Talking never did much. Instead, it is the little things that, over time, causes a believer to question and doubt until the point where they make a change.
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  Wait For It

  So far I've only told my husband and mother. My husband says I have points, but for whatever he doesn't know or can't explain, he rationalizes that he's "not high up enough to know" or relies on "my strong faith." My reply to him is "faith in whom?" which usually is the point where I end the convo and leave him with his thoughts. His mind isn't ready to accept a different way of believing.

  Now my mom, on the other hand, has always been a thinking women and open minded. We also trust each other completely. When she was disfellowshipped, I didn't disown her, in fact, our relationship grew stronger. So when I learned TTAT, I shared everything with her. She has since woken up and has never criticized me for researching.
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  cognisonance

  I literally had one person put fingers in his/her ears and start humming!
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  Anders Andersen

  Apart from the pretty standard reaction from 'friends' and family as described above, I think this is also interesting:

  Me, texting a DFed and thus estranged good friend: Hey, how are you?

  She: So happy to chat! Miss all of you! We should visit soon. You're DFed right?

  Me: Nope, just quit.

  She: Why?

  Me: TTATT

  She: OK, well I'm not convinced. It's still the truth.

  Me: As you wish. So when can I visit you?

  She: Let me check. I'll let you know.

  
  

  Crickets ever since. Jup, I'm not DF or DA, yet shunned by a DFed friend.....whatever...
  
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  Doubtfully Yours

  I've made small comments here and there in social settings, about the correlation between infant baptism and our young kids being baptized; the protection of abusers physical/sexual by not turning them to authorities or notifying the congregation of these undesirables moving among us, the 'always a deficit' at the assemblies, etc.

  All I get is crickets and then a change of subject. I sense looks and comments of disapproval about the subjects and an insinuation not to talk about this anymore.

  Because of the love and respect I feel for my wonderful husband, I decided as of yesterday not to bring up any contradictory subject up again. He is quite prominent/popular/loved among Spanish JWs here and very happy in his life, so I do not want to cause him any further grief.
  

  DY
  
• 

  slimboyfat

  Bad ones. I gave up pretty quick. JWs accepted that I simply didn't challenge them for a few years, but after a while even that wasn't enough. They wanted me to positively affirm their beliefs to stay "good association". What insecurity!