3rd Gen DF'd finally writing (page 2)

Witness My Fury

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B9Vt7Zse3YZOOTJxc0FUMmE0bEE/edit?pli=1

If it's that important, then it's worth the time to make sure, right?

Welcome, by the wayz. :)

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story. I am not going to tell you what to believe just please keep reading, thinking and questioning. You don't have to decide anything yet while you're still 'limping'. Once you settle on a belief system what room is there for new ideas?

The Searcher

Welcome, AFREEBELIEVER!!

Your sentiments will be echoed by many here. I too find it very sad that the severity of the Org causes so many to "throw the baby out with the bathwater" and abandon many good Bible-based principles and standards.

EdenOne

Welcome to the forum! Looking forward to your contributions.

Eden

Ucantnome

And like David said in a psalm, even if my mother and father turn against me, I have a heavenly father.

that's a nice thought.

when i stopped attending the hall i had concern that i might lose that relationship with God i would imagine it is worse if a person is disfellowshipped.

i have spoken recently with a former disfellowshipped person and they explained how alone they felt.

MissFit

Welcome. I'm looking forward to hearing more from you. Thanks for sharing your story.

Miss. Fit

AFreeBeliever

Thank you everyone for your comments, and taking the time to write. I am more of a listener than a talker, so I will probably not be writing very often. But I did want to clear up what might have been a bit of a misperception of my experience. I jumped over 28+ years of my journey/searching/struggles, to get to my main point. But if it came across as if I jumped from the Witnesses into another denomination, that is completely incorrect. After being disfellowshipped I wanted nothing to do with the Bible or any religion, plus, as so many of you understand, "where else would you go?" the well is poisoned to feel we can associate anywhere else. After just letting some time go by, I eventually considered atheism, but that just never set with me as being true, so I was agnostic for a long time, really just didn't know what to think and didn't really have the time or inclination to think about it too deeply. Many, many years later, when I did decide to revisit God/Bible etc., I began with the plan of proving it all false, it had been used to hurt me so badly I wanted to take the power out of it. I read books against the Bible, pored through the issues that were considered contradictions, then moved onto the Witnesses specifically and read Ray Franz's books, yes I did read a few of Bart Ehrman's (sp?) books, and a few on overcoming cults and how they work. But, no one could have been more surprised than I was, in the end I actually came to a faith I never really had in the Witnesses. I understand what you are saying Cofty, I just came to a different conclusion from the evidence. And OnTheWayOut, I didn't mean any offense, just being realistic after visiting this site many times and having an understanding of the lay of the land. I decided if I was going to read/study the Bible, I was really, really going to do it, that is when I began collecting numerous commentaries, translations, etc., to use as interesting resources, not as the final say, like we were always told the Watchtower publications were. Some Witnesses came to my door awhile ago, I asked them if Jesus would ever feed them poison? At first they didn't want to answer, but finally said No, so I asked why they couldn't use every publication that the Witnesses had ever published then? How could anything from Jesus go out of date? They haven't been back to my door. Anyway, I just wanted to share a little more about my journey, for anyone to whom it might be interesting or of help. As many of you probably can relate, I didn't have the kindest, most loving parents, as is often the case in the Witnesses, strangely and sadly. I can honestly say probably no one or nothing stumbled me away from the Witnesses as much as my parents. Sometimes really quite cruel. One of the scriptures that first really affected me was Jesus in Matthew 18 talking about "the little ones" and he said "in heaven their angels always see the face of my father". It hit me so powerfully, God didn't like what happened to me anymore than I did! It had just never felt before like God was on my side. Then another passage really comforted me, I know it's been pointed out here before, but Ezekiel 34, where God says he will go searching for the sheep that his so-called shepherds had ruled with "force and cruelty", and that he was the judge between sheep and goats. I just found these sentiments to be of great comfort. I can honestly say that after going through so very much, and really, my heart has broken so many times for so many of you on this forum who have shared the pain of their loss, and the fear of the loss to come. It's horrible. But my heart and life have truly been transformed by my search and where I am now, and I just want to give you hope and encouragement. As excruciating and cruel as it is to lose your family and friends, I do really believe the worst thing the Witnesses do is to take God from us, they take the ball and go home and leave you out there alone. But that's not how it is, they will be held to account for their actions and lack of mercy, they forget that "judgement is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy, Mercy triumphs over judgement" according to James. As a final thing I want to share from my experience, I had anger/hurt/resentment/bitterness in my soul for a long time due to what happened to me, but I can truly say that has turned to forgiveness as my relationship with God has deepened, I can truly pray for my mom now in all sincerity, and be more sad for them than mad. There is so much hope...you really can get through this and have a life of faith in God beyond what you may have imagined in the Witnesses. Thank you for the kind welcomes from those of you who wrote.

cappytan

Holy Cow AFreeBeliever, I love your outlook on spirituality.

It gives me hope that even though my core beliefs are being so challenged, I can always fall back on the grace of the Christ.

My biggest fear in this journey is losing my faith in a creator and Jesus altogether. Maybe I am a foolish dreamer, but I hope that I can hold on to that part of my faith, at the very least.

Again, thank you so much for sharing your journey.

One Last Kiss

I like your style AFreeBeliever :) WT's methods and actions rip the spirituality out of so many people. But despite what some foot-stamping athiests will assert, it's perfectly ok to seek it out again with a critical eye.

3rd Gen DF'd finally writing

whathappened