by OneEyedJoe 49 Replies latest jw experiences
Come to think of it, you do see a lot of weirdos, spazzos enter the Borg over the years. Not a lot of mentally stable people entering. You never see normal-living people like doctors, lawyers, judges or lieutenants.
True, the Borgs numbers are pretty much maintained by the birthrate of people having sex within. You never see any normal people coming in.
For those that were born-in, did you ever realize that you never would've joined if not for the circumstances of your birth? If you did, how long did you live with that knowledge before finally and fully waking up?
I can say that the person I am, would never have joined. But if I'd been born into a different family, with different genes, experiences, etc., then anything is possible. Guessing what *might have been* is always a fool's errand. But as long as we realize it's fantasy, I'm good with that.
I left the Lie when I was 18. Never really believed it - just tried to please my parents as a child, and of course, went along with their belief system until I reached an age of understanding (before baptism at 14, that was for THEM).
Umm, realizing that I had dramatic events that slapped me in the face. A gay friend hanging himself, pioneer friends having sex with their boyfriends, and a long illness ... those events said loud and clear "This is NOT the Truth (TM), and you cannot live a lie." That was my personal journey and choice, though.
It was not easy to leave, and for years, I resented a good friend (a bestest friend, really) who led a double life. Now, though, I have learned to be less judgmental, and realize that it's okay to do that. I wouldn't wish my life on anyone (being a 3rd gen on one side, and 4th on the other, I lost a lot, and at that time, no internet or support).
But you know what? No regrets. xo tal
You I always felt guilty about having to chance to survive Armageddon, as I knew I would never have converted if not born in.
Nothing in the publications seemed compelling enough to convince someone to believe it was the true religion. I doubted for as long as I remember, and it hard to understand why I didn't trust the doubts, but thought doing more would help build faith.
I just want to note, that I don't think anyone was "stupid" or "dumb" for joining. My mother brought in 2 converts - TWO!
They were both women who had 'mother problems' .... one was a teen mom, the other a 40-something who had led a party lifestyle, and was looking for something to save her.
I don't truly understand (being the Spock that I am), but I can feel empathy for needing to feel part of something, searching for a meaning in life. The JWS, especially with their love-bombing, and almost-perfect facade of loving fellowship, could be very attractive to a person who feels desolated, and so alone.
It's one reason why I want this Tower to fall! They prey on folks when they are weak, and that has to end. (not to mention, for the sake of the children) xoxo tal
For those that were born-in, did you ever realize that you never would've joined if not for the circumstances of your birth? If you did, how long did you live with that knowledge before finally and fully waking up?
Before I left, I wondered about this in a worrisome sort of way. Like, "if I didn't come in as a 3-year-old, would I have been disposed to the truth as an adult if they came to my door?"
Turns out that BECAUSE of my early JW experience, that I know I'd never convert as an adult.
The irony and variable lies in the chance that I'd never been exposed to JWs or other high-control groups as a child, and would my agreeableness and longing to belong still exist if I were never a jw to begin with?
Conclusion: I'll never know.
For those that were born-in, did you ever realize that you never would've joined if not for the circumstances of your birth? If you did, how long did you live with that knowledge before finally and fully waking up?
I made a fairly similar statement when I first joined this forum. I think it common among born-ins to feel this way. For me it probably started popping up when I went to college. I was open to many of the new ideas presented but found that JWs wouldn't even consider information other than what the WT pushes. I'm not even talking about evolution. Things like the big bang, formation of the universe, and artificial intelligence are all dismissed by JWs because they raise too many questions. I'd also find many of the statements from the "hardcore JWS" to be absolutely nuts.
I was in my pre-teens when I realised that this was something my parents did, not something I believed in. The 'personal relationship with Jehovah' idea rings a bell - I'd no idea what it was. Still don't really understand it. Does he talk back? I asked really honestly and was listening hard for a reply. But, yeah, not something which happened for me.
Was always a bit geekish and bookish though, and I was reading stuff which was dismantling the whole Abrahamic religion belief set through the historical evidence really. Would have been an even quicker process if the internet had existed - having to chase down the sources via interlibrary loan was a slow process! Wouldn't have really resolved the problem of being a minor stuck inside. Possibly would have given a better twist to how I did end up leaving, at least in terms of dealing with things afterwards.
Know that feeling described in the OP very well. Everything had to be questioned and tested again. Even more recently, it's been the past couple of years where I've properly dealt with some lingering niggles which were still there. I found it very disorientating as a late teen, especially with the shunning thing going on and coming out of a very sheltered life. Still find the whole thing rather curious and difficult to explain at times. Is what it is.
