The Watchtower—Study Edition | September 2022
Elders do not reveal confidential matters to their family members (See paragraph 11)
11 In the congregation. Elders who are known to keep a confidence are “a hiding place from the wind, a place of concealment” for their brothers. (Isa. 32:2) We know that we can talk freely to these men, certain that what we say to them will be kept confidential. We do not pressure them to tell us things that they should keep private. In addition, we appreciate our elders’ wives because they do not try to pry information out of their husbands. Really, it is a blessing that an elder’s wife is not told personal information about her brothers and sisters. One elder’s wife commented: “I am grateful that my husband keeps information confidential regarding those he meets on shepherding calls or those needing spiritual assistance, not even telling me their names. I appreciate not being burdened with issues I can do nothing about. I am able to interact naturally with all in the congregation. And I can trust that when I confide in my husband about my personal feelings or problems, these too will remain confidential.” Of course, we all want to have the reputation of being trustworthy. What qualities will help us to achieve that goal? Let us consider five of them.
In my old congregation, elder wives were the biggest snitches, big mouths, self-righteous and the most judgmental of all the members. There was a lot of dirt that was thrown around by elder's wives.
Elders were known to tell their wives all the congregation confidential information... how teenager Johnny and teenager Jane were disfellowshipped. We knew Johnny was disfellowshipped because the elders followed him around and watched him come out of a hotel with his ''worldly'' girlfriend. We also found out Jane was having sexual relations with her boyfriend.
Don't believe for a minute one elder's wife said this:
“I am grateful that my husband keeps information confidential regarding those he meets on shepherding calls or those needing spiritual assistance, not even telling me their names. I appreciate not being burdened with issues I can do nothing about. I am able to interact naturally with all in the congregation. And I can trust that when I confide in my husband about my personal feelings or problems, these too will remain confidential.”