How Many Of You Knew Something Was Really Wrong Growing Up JW? What was Your First Clue?

by Sea Breeze 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Sea Breeze

  This is directed to born-ins.

  Around age 10 or 12 is when it first hit me. I started asking questions about how the world worked and I really wanted an honest opinion from my parents. I noticed they would always give me canned answers from WT publications. I wasn't opposed to the WT at that time, it just irritated me that they couldn't give me a straight answer using their own thinking, in their own words.
  
  I used to fling myself on the ground (like 10 year olds sometimes do) and ask them to just tell me what they thought. They would just repeat WT answers almost verbatim.... I could tell that their behavior was unnatural, even mechanical.
  
  I knew then that something was very wrong. My family didn't talk like other people did. It was all so......scripted.

  What about you?
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  SouthCentral

  The baptismal questions changed about 2-years after my baptism. They literally had everyone pledge their allegiance to "God's spirit directed ORGINAZION"!! Seemed blasphemous to me as a teenager.

  An elder described it as signing a blank contract. I thought; "Isn't that bad?" This was also doing the time of Kareem (who played many years past his prime due to contracts and theft) and Majic Johnson's (1 million annually for 25 years) contracts being in the news a lot of the time. I followed the concepts of BAD Contract closely.
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  Simon

  First clue? Feeling like an idiot and being embarrassed whenever I had to speak the beliefs out loud, even to other JWs.
• 

  Smiles

  Unfortunately, no clue about TATT when growing up JW.

  First clue was later in adulthood when a high ranking freemason that later became a JW and prominent elite went unpunished for wrongdoing. WT HQ issued a letter ordering the matter be closed and not revisited. Two that pressed on for further investigation of the matter were relieved of all duties in the congregation, and to this day are marginalised by authority of the WT branch office.
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  DarleneGatus

  Both of my sons were born in the religion, and each of them starting questioning doctrine around the age of 8 or 9, then by age 11 or 12 they would admit they didn't believe it if allowed to do so. Their dad, my ex-husband, was an elder and they wouldn't talk to him about it because he would get angry, but they would tell me. I think I would still be attending if not for my children. Some thought I was a "spoiler" because I was always taking them to parks or gyms and associate with kids in the neighborhood, but I am glad that they were strong enough to have their own thoughts and speak their mind.
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  TonusOH

  I was born and raised in it and bought into it for a long time. I think what finally began to make me stop and think was when they would admit that obedience was more important than being right, using examples of people who were removed as apostates, only for the organization to adopt their views later on. And they would say it directly- the important thing was obeying the organization, more than being right about Biblical interpretation. Even though I told myself that this was right and okay, there was apparently some level of my brain that could not make that square peg fit into a logical round hole.

  Even so, I think I fought it until I finally came to the realization that I didn't believe in God. At that point, with the presupposition removed and giving myself the permission to think freely, lots of what they taught fell apart. It was at that point that I started to read stuff like CoC and learned that they'd been hiding all of their dirty laundry from us, and there was an astounding amount of it.
• 

  Biahi

  Many, many things, as I was growing up. The extreme lack of love was notable, even as a small kid. I could never understand why we couldn’t celebrate holidays, and I knew there was a scripture which said you could celebrate anything you wanted, let each one be convinced “in his own mind.” Yet, that scripture was ignored. At age 11, I was left out in the D2D ministry, in the winter, while everyone else in the group went out to a restaurant for a break. The asshole elder in charge, apologized to me afterward, claimed they “forgot” me, and I knew he was lying. The faces on the others in the group I will never forget. Then, once I turned about 13, the elders constantly picked on me for how I looked, yet they also admitted that I was dressed modestly. Yet, apparently I looked “too attractive “, and they had a problem with it. Fuck them. Then, I read a book that contained the line, “I’d rather be dead than not really be living.” I thought, that’s me. I’m not really living. The Bible does not say to put your life on hold now, don’t do anything but exist, and wait for the new system. I also vowed to myself that I would NEVER bring a child into the world, if I had to raise that child as a JW. Left for good at age 23, hard fade, never looked back.
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  joe134cd

  I went for a about 15 years as a PIMI believing that Christ died upon a cross, after I was challenged on a door about it. There is just to much evidence to suggest otherwise. I just wish it had been the thing to motivate me to leave.
• 

  LongHairGal

  BIAHI:

  Wow, I’m sorry you went through that.

  I wasn’t raised a JW so I have no idea. I came in a young working adult. It wasn’t all roses not being raised a Witness either no matter what anybody may think and childhood is never easy. But, at least I didn’t have to witness the hypocrisy you did. Children are especially perceptive and I’m sure it was glaringly obvious when they lied because they didn’t want to treat you to lunch that time. And, then when you were in puberty you were singled out because you were ‘too attractive’.😮. I’m glad I was spared this horror because it would have profoundly bothered me and messed up my head even more. Who the hell needs this??

  I’m glad you got out of this sick and scarring religion at an early age..and as we discussed once before I’m glad you prepared for your Retirement as well.👍🏻
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  Biahi

  LongHairGal, thank you for your kind words.🥰 I could tell many more stories, I could write a book. Sometimes, I think I could write a whole comedy routine about these experiences, because if I couldn’t laugh about it, I’d cry.