I have a hate/hate relationship with the WT.
Cognitive Dissonance is the feeling of uncomfortable tension which comes from holding two conflicting thoughts in the mind at the same time.
by Sledracer 12 Replies latest jw experiences
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Sledracer
Eventually one will win out though.
What shook me up was when someone I witnessed too got so excited, went and studied with a non witness, that taught mostly witness beliefs, and told me off for not sharing these with her. I realized that maybe I haven't appreciated being freed from all of these false beliefs enough. She was a pentecostal her whole life, and she ended up completely homeless, with demons because of it. She was delusional and ill because of these beliefs, she was so happy to finally be freed from these beliefs, so excited. She has very little education and has had such a hard time, I told her to go there and get support. I used to do drugs, and smoke, ect. Leaving has not changed my beliefs, I choose still not to smoke, ect. So why am I not reaping the benefits of a loving family. Why am I so critical. Worldly people shun, put people in jail and make mistakes too. This really shook me up! Standing back and observing has helped me to view things differently. I miss the closeness I had with Jehovah, talking about spiritual things, and reading the Bible, I love the hope, I was in it 25 years, much of it pioneering. My son left, but he is not comfortable with all that silly Christmas, Birthdays, etc. I can tell he is starting to understand why we loved it so much. He is a physicist, brilliant, but an Atheist. I don't want to give up, he's happy thinking he will just die, I want to at least have a chance and without faith in something, there is none. I hate Babylon, have no interest in it. So there it is. This new thinking has shocked me. Maybe the angels are calling back the disciples and disciplining and humbling the organization with this big sue case. Who knows, you believe what you want to believe and I will believe what I choose, as one co said. I like to believe the angels are directing my life, it makes me feel safer. Can't prove any of it though, can you?
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GrreatTeacher
Just because you want to believe the angels are directing your life doesn't make it true.
We all die. It is the single most absolutely true thing that we can bank on.
No one particularly likes the thought, but it doesn't make it any less true.
Facing your mortality is a difficult but necessary task for those leaving cults that promise living forever.
Have you done that, yet?
If not, it would explain a lot of your confusion and longing.