by Still Totally ADD 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Every day I was sent off to school I was told "You know who you are"
That meant that I was "different" and that I was representing Almighty God,
If I misbehaved it was going to make Him look bad,
I think that's quite a lot of responsibilty to throw on a six year old,
:0)
Scracthme I never looked at it the way you brought out. Yes the crap from the borg is just one layer of all the dysfunction that took place. Still Totally ADD
Tepidpoultry yes little children made to act like adults. Sick!!! Still Totally ADD
From my perspective been a born in 4th generation, with a raving psycho malignant narcissist holding away, it was pretty shit, but years latter on leaving I had the wonderful opportunity of meeting a fellow exe, and it was on comparing notes that I realised at least in my families case, there was a hell of a lot more at play as a cause of the misery in our home life. She received regular gifts and lots of love, holidays, attended large family gatherings etc...me on the other hand, didn't even get toys, led to some serious hand eye coordination issues growing up. I would say the worst aspect of been born in, was not having a control reference of "normal" and the crippling damage of knowing nothing but indoctrinated dogma suspending critical thinking.
ScratchMe1010: Today as a mature man I can point with accuracy which of my issues come from the Wt and which come from my messed up family, and which comes from my messed up family's misuse and abuse of the WT teachings.
I believe that the JWs give a perfect environment for parents to mentally abuse their kids. The religion, as a whole, is actually abusive. If you do not accept everything we say, than, you are wicked and worse than any of the evil worldly people because you know better than they do. That is abusive. Some families will moderate that kind of thinking for their kids and some will actually amplify it.
This may have to do more with what your parents were like, and not necessarily if you were raised by Jehovah's Witnesses.
I was originally raised by non-religious parents of Jewish ancestry. Besides for a few cultural earmarks, there was little religion. We were a wealthy family, with all the material things you can imagine. My parents celebrated Christmas and Halloween and birthdays (things you don't always find in a every Jewish home). My grandparents gave me what little teaching in Jewish ways as they could, and their influence was great, but the home my parents raised me in was very different.
My parents were also abusive. I had to be rescued and separated from my parents who put my life in physical danger repeatedly since infancy. I have both emotional and physical scars from the little over 10 years I was with them.
My aunt (of no blood relation) raised me after that. She was a Jehovah's Witness. She was kind, loving, caring, thoughtful, honest and dependable. She went to every meeting, assembly and convention, and was even a regular pioneer for some time. I went along to every meeting as well and out in service regularly. I didn't have what I had grown up with materially and had no Christmas or birthday celebrations anymore, but I also had peace, love, and no more abuse at home.
So it depends. The way my aunt practiced her religion was very orderly and exemplary, and this included how she treated me and her children, my cousins. It was a loving home, and from what I saw even then a lot better than even others had it who were also JWs. Some of them had what some here are describing.
And that is because abusive parents come in all denominations (and even without being religious, like mine). So some born into the religion experienced the Watchtower through an abusive environment. Others did not. But just as not all non-religious parents are abusers like my non-religious parents, not all JW families were the same either.
Being raised in a religious home can be abusive IF the parents use the religion as one of their tools of abuse. I've seen this in Catholic and Jewish and Mormon and JW homes. But my parents once beat me with a toy, and that doesn't mean that all children who are given toys will experience being bruised and bloodied by them as I was.
We can all be so greatly limited by our personal experience with the Witnesses that we often cannot see that our own view of Witness life may be unique. If you were abused growing up, you might want to blame the religion before you blame your parents. Being an adult survivor of child abuse, I see this all the time.
If you had an abusive childhood it is because you had abusive parents. A religion can play a part, true, but it can't raise you irresponsibly. Parents can however, and do. A religion can make demands and tell a parent to treat their child one way, and the parent can always say, "No." My aunt did this several times. In the 1970s she made sure all her kids were immunized and took medications when they needed it. She was a nurse, but the Witnesses sometimes frowned on medicine back then (just see the old "Youth" book from my era). My aunt had no problem putting elders and other mothers in their place when they challenged her on this.
If your JW parents did everything by the book, then you may have received some religious abuse that way. But your parents had the option of being brave like my aunt and saying "no." So it all can't be blamed on the religion. My aunt is a second-generation JW too, and she knew the difference between good parenting and going along with the Watchtower blindly.
I was abused by non-religious parents. You may have been abused by religious parents. The constant here? Abusive parents.
Besides, Jewish kids grow up without Christmas, some without birthday celebrations, and some with strict religious-adhering parents...and I know many like this, none of whom claim it was abuse.
Child abuse knows no religion. It comes from people who abuse children, period. So again if you were abused growing up, the Watchtower might have had some fault in it, but you need to take a hard and honest look at your parents too.
STILL TOTALLY ADD- Great thread, thanks for posting it. Like yourself I was born & raised in the JW cult - and I guess a tad luckier. Although my elder dad made it very difficult for me to develop any kind of lasting self esteem- because nothing I did was ever good enough for him - my JW mom was VERY supportive to me and never judged me as an " unworthy " or anything . She even liked my rock n ' roll music growing up ( much to the chagrin of my elder father ) .
My home as a youth felt like a " prison " when my dad would come down on me like a damned drill sergeant in the army Or lose his temper and whack me one even though he didn't understand the situation before he started getting physically aggressive towards me. But my mom was always there to save him from himself and prevent him from totally making a dick of himself. And in so doing- she won my deepest respect and I was able to survive being raised up a JW. I still left home at age 18 to get out from under my dad's iron hand authority - but it made it much more bearable having a mother who was on my side and truly loved me- even enough to stand up to her staunch elder husband when he was not fair or unjust to me. If not for her help- I don't know where or what I'd be today. She truly made me the man I am today. One reason I miss her so much since she died . Take care , Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Buck Rogers you are so right this religion is crippling damage of knowing nothing but indoctrinated dogma suspending critical thinking. Well said.
Stephane Yes the religion as a whole is abusive because of this my parents went out of their way to amplify it.
David Jay I cannot accept that the wt. Is not responsible for a lot of the abuse that takes place in the org. Not only did I had abusive parents but abusive PO, most of the congregation and many CO. This religion is sick.
Hey flipper good to here from you. I am so glad you had one parent who cared more about you than the Borg. In a prison like you and I was in having a mother like yours is worth it weight in gold. Take care. Still Totally ADD
