When I reflect on my life past, I don't think that I ever gave much thought to my purpose of living very much. I was so consumed with the constant daily worries of looking after my wife, my children. my career and the affairs of the congregational treadmill, that a deeper looking into my life was not possible. However now that I am much older, I've had the time to do that very thing. And maybe this is the time when all of us start reflecting on the things we have done (or not done) and whether or not we have lost our way.
For me, I began to see that the Society is not really all that fulfilling. In addition to all its theological failures and political maneuvering, it has all be come quite vague. Back in the 80s there was a sense of certainty and distinctness. However now with the cannibalizing directives of informing on your brother (or at least, marking such ones as unfit for association) the feeling of us vs the world has all but evaporation. Sadly we are now only left with a shadow of the brotherhood we once enjoyed, with many occupied with looking out for the organized fifth column of apostates. How sad it has all become.
In regards to the question of purpose though, I think that we are fortunate that life offers us many purposes we can take up. However I believe that it is far better to think about the direction we have chosen, in the context of what it will ultimately give. This is because when our time is up and we are dying, will you be laying there in your deathbed with regrets and sorrows ... or will you have a mild feeling of contentment at how you've tried to spent your efforts when you had life and health.
And while in the end the choice is ours to make, I do think that from what I have seen, a self-centered life will not be as rewarding or remembered, as one focused on giving to others in some way.
