I stopped attending meetings all together in January 2015. Before that my attendance was irregular at best. My husband followed suit a few months ago after months of research, agony, and indecision on his part. From the very beginning I laid low and did not share with anyone what I found out about the witnesses because I did not want to be DF'd. I did the whole I am on a break and then told my family I had no plans to return. I eventually discussed my beliefs with my husband and he did not turn me into the elders. My parents I took the tactic of not discussing JW related stuff at all. It did not work so well and it got the point we barely speak.
I think I have forever altered our relationship and I am not so sure there is any going back now. I was out shopping and ran into my mom. She approached me and told me how much everyone misses me. I told her I still live in the same house I have not moved. I said I don't like to be harassed about going back to meetings but I would love to still have a relationship with my friends and family. Using the word harassed really got her upset. She blasted me good and told me what a selfish person I was and that because of decisions I made now my own husband is not attending meetings and now has a worse attitude than I do. She said she did not raise me to be stupid and I was mentally diseased like my cousin. I have experienced this coldness from my mom a couple of times before and it always caused me to retreat but not this time.
I told her to pull her head out of the clouds and I flat out told her she was in a cult. I said her religion could not stop predicting the end of the world and they protected child abusers. I went off about their history right there in the middle of the store and made a few comments about her beloved FDS. I ended the conversation with yes mom I AM AN APOSTATE! I walked away and I knew I was officially going to be df'd. I finally admitted it to her.
The very next day I had 2 elders at my door. I was done and planned to admit to everything I told my mom the previous day and would gladly take my dfing. I no longer cared. When I saw them standing outside my door all this anger came to me. What right do they have to come to my door. Why can't my mom even show a shred of loyalty to me? I know the answer to that but that is what is going through my mind. I was just pissed. So these "well meaning" elders asked me to confirm what I had said to my mom and asked me point blank if I was an apostate. No hello or kiss my ass. All they wanted was a confirmation and by the look in their eyes they were eager for it. I was just looking at them and I thought of this board and my cousin about being told elders have NO authority over you. I told them I had no idea what they were talking about and I asked them to leave. So they were like you never told your mom you are an apostate. The look of shock on their face was priceless. I denied denied denied. They attempted to grill me but I was not having it. I told them to leave and not to come back. You know what one of those assholes told me. He said that he would be talking to my husband about the events that had transpired in the last 24 hours. I was like you go ahead and talk to him.
So basically I called my mom a liar to the elders by denying the conversation ever took place. I was on a high for a couple of days but what comes up must come down. I feel so bad now. I got an email from my dad telling me his heart was completely broken. I have not heard a word from my mom. She has not sent me 1 ranting email or text.
I don't think the elders are quite done with me but with no one to back up what I told my mom I don't see what they can do. My husband will not return the elders calls. lol I mean really what do they expect him to do. According to my mom his attitude is worse than mine. He told me to let it ride and we had better things to concentrate on and leave the JW bs being us. To me its not that easy. I don't want to drag things out or play some kind of catch me if you can game. I don't know. I had a golden opportunity to be dfd but did not take it. I hope they do not come back.