Hey ya'll! My first post. Please help. In need of advice/comfort.

by Stepford Wife 121 Replies latest jw friends

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  problemaddict 2

  I don't want to discourage the court route if you felt strongly about it, but libel or slander (spoken or written), is damn near impossible to prove. At the least you would need multiple people loyal to the branch to all flip and once and corroborate your story showing intend to defame.

  JW's are a religion. So the first amendment is both a sword and a shield. And for Satan running it apparently, they sure do avail themselves of everything possible to protect themselves.

  So I wouldn't put too much on that. Try to handle it free from legal challenge. It might just be the anger and frustration talking.
  
• 

  ssn587

  SW my thought is just who your husband is local to, you and family or the crazies at the hall? He says he would have to turn you in, that shows whom he would be more loyal and it seemingly is the apostate governing dictators. Those supposed friends at the hall would not be your friends if you aren't attending, may take awhile but eventually it will happen, then you will find out true friend in the Borg as they won't abandon you.

  Is your husband so enamored with being an elder that it's more important to him than family?
• 

  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  I think the big question you need to ask is if your husband's priority is staying an elder. If that is the case, I have seen many elder's wives join what has been coined "the sick wives club". They usually "contract" a nebulous, chronic issue (i.e. Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, panic disorders, anxiety, headaches, bad back). Your husband can stay an elder and you'll still get invited to social activities. And you'll not be questioned again. Your husband will probably know you're faking it, but maybe it won't bother him because the brothers will get off his back. I have seen this scenario more times than I can count and it has seemed to me that the elder husband was fully aware of the wife's true health situation. Just sayin!

  I am very surprised that your husband agreed to this shepherding visit for you; it violates the headship principle and in all congregations I have been in, elders immediate families are not "shepherded" by the BOE.

  In your case, fading will be a challenge that will require a bit of acting on your part.

  BTW, I am not dismissing the above conditions as true health problems, but those are good ones to pick because they are chronic, incurable, and not terminal.
• 

  Hadriel

  @EyesOpenHeartBroken (great handle/name btw) re: contracting chronic illness approach.

  It just now hit me that this is exactly what someone very close to me that passed away did. I just now realized it. I hadn't thought of this person in a while but there were always comments. Now I realize why she did it.

  I can attest. Crazy as it might sound to some this actually works and saves everyone grief if the husband will buy into it or look away.
• 

  James Mixon

  Ok, so how can one be appointed an Elder with a unbelieving mate? I knew a brother that

  was appointed a elder and his wife was a very faithful church member.
• 

  ScenicViewer

  EyesOpenHeartBrtoken: I think the big question you need to ask is if your husband's priority is staying an elder. If that is the case, I have seen many elder's wives join what has been coined "the sick wives club". They usually "contract" a nebulous, chronic issue (i.e. Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, panic disorders, anxiety, headaches, bad back). Your husband can stay an elder and you'll still get invited to social activities.

  Now there's a clever angle - for those that can pull it off.
  
• 

  Hadriel

  @JamesMixon

  That is absolutely possible. The difference here is this woman is a baptized witness of JW. That makes a huge difference as in all likelihood the husband would be disqualified.

  See 1 Tim 3:4 a man presiding over his own household in a fine manner, having his children in subjection with all seriousness
• 

  Wasanelder Once

  SW, two elders come first to "investigate". This will be your shepherding call. They will feel you out to see if what your husband has privately told them is true. I know he said he wouldn't but remember its your everlasting salvation at stake and he loves you. Of course you know him so this may be wrong on my part. Either way, those two elders can serve as witnesses in a JC against you so play the part well and let it fall. If he is removed as an elder it may be the injustice that will open his eyes, especially if you remain a good and loving companion no matter what they say.
  
• 

  rebel8

  Welcome.

  Maybe you can avoid saying stuff and just listen. Keep placating and thanking them, "You've given me a lot of spiritual food to digest."
  
• 

  smiddy

  Stepford wife ,

  "If they even dare mention anything about DF ,or anything ,I will sue their asses off and bring it to the Supreme Court if necessary ...."

  I have had a similar experience where elders tried to intimidate me with a situation .In my case it was 'leave it in Jehovah`s hands " "trust the organization to do the right thing " and so forth .trying to shut me down.

  My response ? I want the names of you elders , and I will make a complaint to the Branch Office about you.

  ( I`m in Australia )

  I will also make a formal complaint about you to the Governing Body in America stating the circumstances , naming you as individuals in this case .

  The result : Pardon the expression they shit themselves , Above all else they do not want there name with a black mark on it with the G.B. , they will bend over backwards to avoid that

  The result I got was better than even I expected .

  So trust me use this tactic , as well as making it public in the media to them ( even if you don`t want to they don`t have to know ) threaten them with it , if there names are going to be published , either in the media or within the Branch Office or the G.B. they have a panic attack , and will back down .

  smiddy