Since Myself and our sons left the JW cult, My wife has been M.I.A has a mom and wife

by goingthruthemotions 20 Replies latest jw experiences

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  TD

  I've said this before and I'll say it again.

  As someone who has been through this, bringing up the contradictions, dishonesty, and downright silliness of the JW faith is counterproductive in the extreme.

  For the longest time (Years....) I could not see that with my wife.

  In retrospect, I would say I refused to see.

  The JW faith, as kooky as it is, was filling an emotional need. The trick was to figure out what that need was and fill it with something healthier.

  Nothing short of that is going to loosen the hold
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  pistolpete

  This is a situation that YOU PERSONALLY will have to think about and decide what course will make you happier. You can't base a decision on what the people here post. Some are saying that they stayed with their wife and it worked, but others are telling you that staying with a wife under the influence of the WT cult is the worse thing you can do.

  None of that matters because your wife is not the same person as the wives of these posters. Your situation is not the same as their situation.

  You are going to have to think about your life and situation and decide what you believe is the right choice to make---for you personally. There are no guarantees either way. You make the choice and live with it.

  On the other hand, you don't have to make the choice today.
  

  I personally don't like to ask anybody for any input on serious decisions. I feel that I have a good head on my shoulders and am able to come up with a solution that I can live with--without any regrets.

  I left my entire jw family and jw friends when I was about 18. I never looked back. I worked at putting myself in a situation that has brought me much happiness.

  Hope things work out for you either way.
  
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  snare&racket

  So sad to hear this pal. Remember you deserve happiness too, you deserve love and affection and attention. Tell her frankly what you have told us. Despite leaving the WT nearly a decade ago, you still suffer through it's tendrils.

  Marriage is never conditional on beliefs , neither is love or even true friendship. Cult 'love' is conditional because it is superficial and a mere attempt at reflecting true love. Since leaving the JW's I have met friends that would not leave my side If I decided to worship Kermit the frog..... because true friendship and love is NOT conditional.

  if you think that train has gone, maybe appreciate how short and vaulble our time on earth is and spend it with someone who isn't praying for everyone that doesn't agrre with them to die.
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  snare&racket

  I ultimately agree with pistol pete......You be you and do what will be right for you!
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  WingCommander

  Cults gonna Cult!
  
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  truth_b_known

  Love is the sacrifice of self for the benefit of another.

  Love your wife. Her response does not negate the fact you showed love. Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.

  Your wife will not receive love from the Watchtower organization. That organization provides zero support. It will always take and it never gives back.

  Even if your wife never comes around, you will have shown a fine example to your children.
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  Vanderhoven7

  Right now your wife is outnumbered by unbelievers. She is living in fear and probably blaming you and the children for trying to undermining her beliefs and causing her grief. Why not strike a deal with her: You will support her, never criticize the organization or try to hurt her faith for the next two months in exchange for a time of just getting along. If willing, get the kids on the kindness and respect track with you. Re-evaluate in 60 days.
  
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  Joliette

  My mom recently caused my dad to lose his ministerial servant position. She is always angry at him. If he stopped going to the kingdom hall she would really be angry at him. Your damned if you do or damned if you dont with those people.
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  waton

  remember too, that if your wife is not acting her best, perhaps it is hard for her to understand the truth about the truth, It is stressful for her, but:

  she is not following watchtower or bible instructions. She is supposed to be extra nice to you. because you will be "sanctified" by her good conduct.

  so : help her doing that. The quest for the status quo.

  not endorsing just saying.
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  GrreatTeacher

  She became worse when her mom died because they are holding her hostage.

  Your wife thinks she needs to "remain faithful" in order to see her mother again.