I have struggled with Complex PTSD ever since I left the JWs. My greatest fear has always been that there is nothing after this life. I've made some breakthroughs along the way in dealing with my PTSD but that fear was always there.
Between February and May both of my living grandparents passed away. It is the first time that I lost people I was really close to. Other people in my family passed away but we were estranged for the obvious reason. What surprised me the most in my grandparents passing was that I'm not worried about where they went or if they went somewhere. I don't know where they went but I know in my heart that they are together somewhere.
When I left the JWs all my foundational beliefs just fell away. I was lost because I didn't know if there was anything to believe in. Almost immediately, through self reflection, I realized that I have my own truths. I never needed a religion to tell me right from wrong because I know in my heart and in my mind what is right and what is wrong. All I had to do was listen to my instincts. And they have never steered me wrong since I started listening to them. When I ask myself if there is a place after death, I don't know. But when I ask myself if I am worried about what happened to my grandparents I just 'know' that they are in a different place. I'm going to trust in that instinct and that knowledge because I believe it and because I have faith that is the truth.
Also... I have some science in my beliefs. Energy doesn't die, it just changes form. Our consciousness is energy making connections in our brains. That energy doesn't die, it just changes form. We don't have to know what that form is to know that this is a foundational scientific truth and to trust in that truth. If the energy changes form, then who we are exists in a different form.