My husband insist that I talk to the elders. It is something I 100% plan on doing for the simple fact of my relationship with him. I know some of you may disagree but it seems like the best option for us.
Problem/Question:
What questions or issues can I bring up that won't scream apostate in order to keep this meeting going? I have a strong feeling that anything CA and procedure regarding this will cause this to automatically crash and burn. My husband insist and confirmed when I double checked that this is a topic I can bring up. I think it is because he has never seen or heard a personal story about how this plays out behind the scenes. I plan to write my questions on a paper to show him before this meeting so he can agree that it is a point they will talk about.
Possible things to avoid and are meaningless: 1914, 587 vs 607 BCE, "old light" Is there anything to add to this list or know of points that are safer but still make the point I need.
My goal is not to convivence anyone in that room that they are wrong and I am right. It is purely to show him how sheltered, by the script, and HR like the elders are. I am already done and don't really care about fading vs DA vs DF. I am more worried how people will view or treat him by those actions. I would gladly sacrifice myself to wake my husband up or keep my marriage strong. He told me it was worse for our relationship for me to live a lie. He will not support anyone tearing down our child or me.
Story:
He is inactive, hasn't been to more than 5 meetings in the last year, and doesn’t live everything by the JW logic. (more politically minded, worldly friends, etc.) He is still mental in and thinks that the Elder ONLY job is there to support us and keep us safe. He has this mentality because of his experiences and what he has heard from others. He even recently ran into someone that had disassociated and had a long conversation. My husband learned that in this guy's experience that the elders he meet with were super supportive and even told him not to disassociate even with all the things they questioned him with.
He is concerned that I am only looking at the negative and the elders should be given the chance to explain their side since I don't know everything. I know how this will go down since the elder's job is to ONLY state things from the org and keep the congregtion clean (aka kick people out.) I even said this to him but he said that it was negative and that I didn't really know what would happen. I have been on my fading path with family, friends, and the congregarion for about 3 years because of some issues. In Apri I 95% made up my mind that I was completely done when I learned in the BOEs letter and saw with my own eyes how that elders can and will lie to make the org look better. I even pieced things together with my own father.
I showed and asked him about the article about piñatas. He was so surprised that he called all this family and friends telling them to read this artice, asked them their opinion, and came back at them about supporting holidays. I have been able to bring up current information like the ARC. I even asked why the org is paying a fine every day to withhold CA documents secret and how I couldn’t support them doing that. He straight up told and 100% believes that next to JW.org that the next best, reliable thing would be the court documents, new reports, and official statements. (btw he hasn't seen or accepted these documents himself but has some common sense.) He thinks that elders would be okay with me asking about these things and even said I should bring up an issue I had with a BOEs letter because "there must be a reason or more to the story."