Welcome, freedomrules!
It was nice to read your thoughts. This is a great place to be able to feel you are NOT alone, and to know that others understand the WT culture completely, thus what you are still struggling to overcome. We empathize!
Gopher wrote:
It's like "if you accept our religion, then we'll love you... Otherwise you are not quite good enough". And FROM THAT attitude comes the idea that maybe we've disappointed our parents.
Actually your parents should be PROUD of you that you went to college and are making a success out of your life and your marriage. If they would think about it, they would have a lot to be proud about. However, when measured by Watchtower standards, what matters is how they look to their friends that their child was not "successfully raised in the truth".
I was a Witness parent, and I can tell you, I worried too much about my children not being "successfully raised in the truth." They weren't conforming, they had their own ideas (and NOT stupid ones, either, lol), I had to "guilt" them into meeting attendance, etc. But, despite that, I knew they were NOT failures! They were/are GREAT kids!!! They are plodding through worldly life acting responsibly, morally and kindly (for the most part). What more can a parent ask?
I'm sure it was the same with you. Your parents know at a certain level that you are doing just fine, that your life IS a successful one, despite your rejection of their religion. It perplexes them, I'm sure (you're not supposed to be happy outside of the 'truth'), but trust me that they are aware and possibly even content that you have made a happy place for yourself and their grandchildren.
Oh, yeah, the grandchildren. Be 'ever vigilant', okay? Because they WILL try to condition them, as they have been conditioned. Not that you haven't already noticed this...
Welcome to the board!
outnfree