Hi Lost and adrift,
You are having to face so much at one time. What is truly important now is your fiance and YOU.
This little religion whose global size is smaller than Istanbul (a city) is proving itself increasingly unable to monitor its own policies. Their own code book says not to bother disfellowshipping people in your position. Perhaps sensing no reprisals from the beleaguered headquarters, local elders pretty much do what they want to..
You have been caught up in that. I am so sorry that happened to you and for the pain it is causing.
Stay with us here and read when you have time. This place is a soothing balm to the soul and helps with getting a new and more accurate perspective than we have been taught by the Organization.
All the best to you and your fiance!