Wow! The look they had on their faces!

ianao

Doorbell: (BING BONG)

Me: "Hello?"

Witnesses: "Hello, we were just in the area and we wondering if we could have a few minutes of your time."

Me: "For what?"

Witnesses: "Well, we have something here that you may be interested in."

Me: "Um, ok. So, what would you be selling?"

Witnesses: "Nothing, nothing at all. Listen, let me get to the point..."

Me: "Are you guys from the gospel christian hope up the street? I've told you i'm not interested!"

Witnesses: "Why, NO SIR. We are not affiliated with any church at all. We aren't salesman either. Now, if I may..."

Me: "Oh ok. So, your just a couple of nice people who want to talk to me then."

Witnesses: "Yes sir ... I take it you are not a religious person, Mr...?"

Me: "Thompson. No. Not at all. I don't want to have anything to do with this world's silly religions."

Witnesses: "Religion today is kindof silly isn't it?"

Me: "Yes it is. A bunch of people walking around acting like they are better than anyone else. What a pile of crap. And who might you be?"

Witnesses: "Oh, I am Charlie Hughes, and this is my wife Carla."

Me: (Shakes hands) "Pleased to meet you Mr&Mrs Hughes."

Witnesses: "Likewise. Well let me ask you this, do you read the Bible?"

Me: "No."

Witnesses: "May I ask why not?"

Me: "Because I have no interest in it. Hey, I thought you guys weren't affiliated with a church, now you are asking me about the Bible? No wait, Lemme guess, you are even more folks who have the ultimate answers right?"

Witnesses: (chuckles) "Only God has the answers sir, we only seek to discover what he desires for all of us."

Me: "Oh ok. So basically you are here to convert me to your religion, right?"

Witnesses: "Well, actually sir if..."

Me: "Listen, before we go on, I need to ask you a question."

Witnesses: "Ok sir, but may I just say something?"

Me: "No. You may not wish to speak with me afterwards."

Witnesses: (Look of bewilderment) "Ok..."

Me: "Are you two Jehovah's Witnesses?"

Witnesses: "Well, yes we are."

Me: "Well, I have unofficially disassociated myself from the Clennoms congregation."

Witnesses: "What? Wait a minute! You are a witness? We don't know of you Mr. Thompson, otherwise we would have had your address."

Me: "Listen ... I don't think you would want to associate with someone who has killed an elder."

Witnesses: (...long pause...)

Me: (Trying not to laugh my ass off for what I just said.)

Witnesses: "Ok, well sir, since you obviously are not interested in having a real discussion..."

Witnesses: (Begin walking toward my neighbor's door)

Me: "Hey! Didn't you see the NO TRESPASSING sign in front of this development? That means DO NOT COME HERE!"

Witnesses: (Knock on neighbor's door)

Neighbor: "Hello?"

Me: "Hey Monica, those guys are witnesses."

Neighbor: (Slams door)

Witnesses: "You should be ashamed of yourself."

Me: "You should get off this development before I call the cops."

Witnesses: (Begin migrating back over toward the development's exit.)

unanswered

ianao-ROFLMAO!!!!

that was simply beautiful. i wish i could have been there to see it. i hope you are duely ashamed of yourself.-nate

Yerusalyim

Please Please PLEASE tell me that is a true story.

YERUSALYIM
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Shakespere: Hamlet

goo

ianaogoo.

RedhorseWoman

That is a great story. Is it true? I think I must live in unassigned territory or something. They never come around here, or at least very seldom. One stopped by to shove that stupid tract in my door a couple of months ago, but they didn't even wait for me to answer. Other than that, I've never had a visit.

Thirdson

RHW,

They never come round my place either. The only time I speak to them is at the airport. I'll post one of my fun conversations one day.

Thirdson

'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'

COMF

I'm kind to them whenever they come to my house. I figure they catch enough crap just being in the organization, and they're suffering enough just being out in my neighborhood doing the zombie thing. They're victims, not perpetrators.

COMF

shalom

Two 'sisters' called on me the other day. I was in their congregation for about seven years up until six or seven years ago but they didn't recognise me (and I haven't changed much!)

Mommie Dark

We've lived here in Corntown for almost 7 years. In that time the dubbies have been to our house once, when we lived further up the hill in a 'nice' neighborhood. We currently live at the very edge of a pretty rowdy neighborhood, and we never see them around here. Mormon boys occasionally come thru, but the JWs are conspicuous by their absence.

Perhaps Jehoober IS protecting them, and keeping them away from the feelthy apostate beetch waiting to pounce upon them...:)

LovesDubs

"Perhaps Jehoober IS protecting them, and keeping them away from the feelthy apostate beetch waiting to pounce upon them...:)"

Mommie you dont happen to have a large neon sign in the front yard that says "F.A.B Headquarters" do you? :)

Wow! The look they had on their faces!

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