JW relationship with a Study?

MoonChikDayi

Hi,

I'm currently taking book study and still am not sure about completely pursuing the religion, but am openly analyzing what I am learning. I am currently dating a JW... My question is how is it looked upon when a JW dates a "study" ? Is it allowed by the elders or will he be shunned? I just recently began study and it was mainly by my own choosing but he also plays a small factor. Uhm... I've read previous posts on JW's dating Non-JW's and I can pretty much see the outcome and I know what will eventually happen to the JW if he/she pursues the relationship (i've been told by JW's).... but i didn't find a post on Jw's dating a study.... Uhm please respond as soon as possible and thanks in advance for all responses!

gitasatsangha

Witnesses are not supposed to date non-baptized persons (meaning persons who are not baptized by the JW's themselves).

Not to mention the ethical problems of dating someone who is trying to convert you. Do you want someone to have that kind of leverage on you? I'd get the hell out of that kind of scene, but fast.

MoonChikDayi

No he's not trying to convert me at all... in fact he told me not to do anything for him b/c he doesn't want me to think bad about him if things don't work out and i accept the faith... he left it to my choosing whether i wanted this or not... he didn't mention it, i did. My best friend is JW and she's the one giving me study...

gitasatsangha

My mistake. I thought HE was conducting the study. I should read more closely, next time. I don't think he'd be officially shunned (or disfellowshipped) for dating you, however he would most likely loose any "priviledges" he has in the congregation, and he may be considered "Bad association" by some. Its an informal way to shun people without going through all the red tape.

MoonChikDayi

oh another thing i forgot to add... he is currently privately cencored. He was a ministerial servant and altho he is still cencored i know he eventually wants to get his priviledges back.. hmmm puts this is a tough spot again! arg.. thanks for the information!

Eyebrow2

Some here may not agree with this statement: I think it is admirable that you are looking into the religion, since you do have people in your life close to you that are JWs.

That being said, I have to tell you that he does not sound like he is too strong if he was a servant, was removed and is dating someone that is not already baptised. And he is telling you that the religion may not work out for him? That is never a good sign for JWs.

I cannot tell you to cease or continue your studies. However, keep in mind that if you do become baptised, you have to live the religion (or at least put on a convincing front), or you will get booted right out. It is so much better to walk away from the religion BEFORE you get baptized than after, because they cannot disfellowship you. They used to Disassociate un baptised people years ago, but had to stop that.

I think both you and your boyfriend should be very careful in considering how this will affect your relationship if you get baptised, and he leaves. Good luck!

shamus

Ahmen to what everyone else said....

He is privately reproved b/c of YOU. (more than likely, anyways. You may correct me if I'm wrong, but that is probably it...) That alone should show you just how bizarre they can be... and if you don't believe me, go to your congregation, nay, any congregation and see what types of people are usually in there. You will find no love, something that Jesus said would be a mark of his disciples.... and, you will find that they are "ravenous wolves" in sheeps clothing. I have never heard a scripture more accurately describe the religion in my life. What is their response to all this bickering? Well, we're all imperfect..... That only holds water for so long. After 10 years, and about 7 congregations, you get tired of that pretty fast.

MoonChikDayi

Hi again... well just for the record he is not reproved b/c of me ... he was reproved before we started to be together... and altho i am in his life right now i know he is very strong into his religion... in fact he wanted to go to Bethel upon graduation but his reproval put that on hold... and he is not forcing me into anything it's all been by my own choosing.. I'm afraid he'll give this up for me and then things might not work out in the future... no one can really know for certain you know? and he is scared of the same thing...he is also scared that i get into the religion and then regret it... fact of the matter i don't want him to let go of this life he knows and especially not for me b/c i feel that by doing that it will only stain any possible relationship we might develop.. both personally and by outside pressures (his whole family is in the faith). So it's a lot to wager.. and I've looked into the religion a lot (hence i found this website) and altho somethings i don't agree with (blood trans. , holidays) i do feel that other things make sense... my only fear of entering this is first off to be shunned by my own family like them thinking of me differently (this isn't exactly my mother's favorite religion) and second if i ever were disfellowshipped i would lose those close to me.. and never speak with them ever again. i dunno it's a lot to wager like i said .. on both sides of the fence. Thanks to everyone who has given input on my situation. Uhm ... i just felt i should add this... if there are any other factors i have not talked about and might help on input just ask and i'll answer for as much as i know. Thanks again everyone i really appreciate it!

Reborn2002

You claim to have studied the doctrine of Jehovah's Witnesses? If that was the case, since you mentioned blood transfusions among other issues in your post, then you would know that the core of the Jehovah's Witness belief system is based upon false prophecies and outright lies.

Based on the information you have provided in your profile,you are 17 years old. I highly recommend you consider what you are doing. The actions you make now will affect you for the rest of your life. Is it worth estranging yourself from family members to join a religion that has so many issues? If you consider yes to even the first question, is it worth taking the risk of being a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses when they will then shun you and ostracize you if you do not follow their outlined protocol? What then?

Educate yourself on JW propaganda, and if you consider the matter with your mind and not your heart, you will see exactly what you should do.

Please take out a portion of your time and visit this website:

http://www.quotes.jehovahswitnesses.com/

playdrums

Hi Moon:

So it's a lot to wager.. and I've looked into the religion a lot (hence i found this website) and altho somethings i don't agree with (blood trans. , holidays) i do feel that other things make sense...

Already you are expressing reservations about some aspects of the teaching. Some of it makes sense but other parts do not. Moon, realize that this organization considers itself to be the one and only mouthpiece of God. Apart from any belief system you may come from, remember that their Bible says that nothing false can come from Jehovah God. So, in turn nothing false can come from the Watchtower Society, right? In consideration of that, you need to educate yourself and decide if there is anything false being taught by this organization. Per their own definition of God, it is either all truth or all lies - there can't be any "grey areas."

my only fear of entering this is first off to be shunned by my own family like them thinking of me differently (this isn't exactly my mother's favorite religion) and second if i ever were disfellowshipped i would lose those close to me.. and never speak with them ever again. i dunno it's a lot to wager like i said .. on both sides of the fence.

It frightens me (for you) that you are talking about "wagering" anything at all. Shunning is a real practice in this religion. You have a lifelong connection to your mother who I'm assuming has the most genuine love for you that a person can possibly have for another person. Also, notice that you already feel you are in a position of crucial choice - you've actually called it wagering. Would any emotional, familial, or spiritual love make you feel as though something needed to be "wagered?"

I think the key is really to completely and totally educate yourself about the Watchtower Society. Where do they come from? What did they believe in the beginning? Do they believe the same things now? If not, why did the teaching change? And do their publications tell the truth? Just one of many, many examples is here. Follow every lead.

Was it a cross or stake?

There's so much to read. But please make sure you balance what you get from the Watchtower with other materials. And please look up any references that their publications refer to. I will pray that you are able to resolve the conflict and anxieties you may be feeling.

JW relationship with a Study?

Share this