Ozzie's Weekend Poll #51

ozziepost

G'day all,

Well, how's the weekend going? There's Eurovision Song Contest parties, there's plenty of rain on the east coast, and sounds like there's a great apostate gathering in Manchester...... and young Rhys got a TaeKwonDo award. Well done Rhys! Sounds like we should have a poll with a party feel about it, don't you reckon? OK, this weekend's poll question is.........

What was the first Borg teaching you learned?

1. The earth will be a paradise.

2. Jesus came "invisibly" in 1914.

3. I couldn't go to heaven.

4. I had to "qualify" to speak the gospel.

5. I would have to wait a year before I could get baptised.

6. I could select which house I wanted for after Armageddon.

7. The JWs don't break up families.

8. Jehovah doesn't live on the planet Pleiedes.

9. Resurrection really means re-creation.

10. Jesus played a trick on Thomas; it wasn't him at all.

11. Thomas made a mistake when he asked to see the wounds from the nails (plural) in Jesus' hands.

12. Satan had a conspiracy to remove the name 'Jehovah' from the New Testament.

13. Archaeologists got it all wrong; it really was in 607 BCE.

14. Thomas was mistaken when he called Jesus "My God".

15. Armageddon will happen in 1975.

16. Armaeddon will happen "any time now".

17. Armageddon will happen "in this generation".

18. We can't define what a 'generation' is.

19. Women can teach worldly men but not "the brothers".

20. I need to read the Watchtower in order to understand the Bible.

21. Other (there'll be plenty!)

Enjoy! Looking forward to reading your reminiscences.

Cheers, Ozzie

gumby

I was born into the borg so it's hard to know this one. As far back as I can remember I would say it was Armaggedon. I know other churches teach this, but not with the definition the dubs have.Me and my 4 sisters were horrified of this all the while we were young.

Gumby

pr_capone

# 1 no doubtstrict

Kansas District Overbeer

GirlOnFence

I was practically born in the borg (since I was 2)... so I would agree with gumby and say it was armageddon.

shera

1 and 16

JH

What was the first Borg teaching you learned?

The first thing they taught me was that I could live eternally in paradise on earth, but with a little string attached *more like a rope*

They said that brothers and sisters worldwide would give their lives for each other because of the LOVE that there is in the organization. *yawn*

Whatever we ask God in our prayers, he would give it to us. *waiting*

JW's are the only true religion that God approves.

Angels are all around us helping in the field service. *wonder if they also took their breaks with us at Tim Horton's*

gumby

The first thing they taught me was that I could live eternally in paradise on earth, but with a little string attached *more like a rope*

LOL

Gumby

Mulan

I was only 4, but I remember clearly learning that God's name was Jehovah. I remember going to Sunday school, before my parents started studying with JW's, and being very afraid of the Devil!! I remember not being afraid of him anymore either.

I also have a real clear memory of not celebrating my birthday or holidays anymore.

WildHorses

# 1

But when they got to # 9 I was totally confused.

Francois

One and seventeen. And to make matters worse, every time there was some unusual natural event, my mother would attempt to solidify and consolidate all the JW teachings she had been pounding into our heads by claiming that whatever the event was, it meant that Armageddon was coming right then and there!

For instance, we lived on an island which was connected to the mainland by a causeway. Now each fall, around October and November, we'd get extraordinairly high tides because of the natural conjunction of the sun and moon pulling together. And, for those of you unfamiliar with tides and such, tides would be unnaturally higher if the wind was blowing sustained from the northeast in our neck of the woods. This was because the wind would push against the water that was trying to go out and keep it from doing so.

One year we'd had a hurricane the last week in October. Unusual, but there it is. The winds from that hurricane were blowing from the NE at a pretty good clip for several days. All during the first week in November, we had sustained NE winds at over 25 knots. And finally, we had a powerful sun/moon conjunction that was also pulling the waters inward toward the land. Well. All these forces combined conspired to keep millions and millions of gallons of water from going out with the tides. In addition, the tides for that coming weekend were spring tides. The causeway from the island to the mainland was covered in three feet of water or more; the bridge was washed out. The local salt rivers overran their banks and all that salt water got up in people's houses.

My mother asked my sister and I what we thought was the cause of all this flooding. I said that it was a combination, an unusual one, of natural forces that happened every fall but which were unusually strong this year plus we'd just had a hurricane. My sister said she didn't know. My mother said "Armageddon." My sister looked at me with a look like Blondie's avatar and she said, "You don't think so do you?" And then she burst into tears of plain old fear. My mother was good to do stuff like that. I told her I didn't think it was funny that she was scaring my sister like that, and besides the signs of Armageddon coming didn't say a thing about high tides.

Same, same when Kennedy was assassinated.

Then I overheard a conversation between she and my father. She was arguing that I shouldn't be allowed to go to college since Armageddon was "so close." My father hit the roof. He could really put up a tough tiff when aroused and at the time he despised the JWs and since I would be the first in the family to go to college he would tolerate no nonsence from the JWs that would lead to my not going.

So I went. And I studied journalism, all about how to write. All about how to write 50 column inches when you've only got material sufficient for about twelve column inches. Does it show?

francois

Ozzie's Weekend Poll #51

Share this