Hello, all. I have been "lurking" (my apologies to anyone who is irritated or offended by that) for some time now. I was raised as a JW - I had the dubious honor of being a presiding overseer's daughter. My little bro and I were perfect little dubs (or is it "duds" ?! forgive me while I learn the language!). We hit the teen years head on...I was doing well in school - offered scholarships, etc...my dad did actually stick up for me and encourage me to go on to college. So, to keep everyone happy, I worked 30 hours a week, went to all meetings, auxiliary pioneered, had high school classes for half a day, and went to college classes on the nights there weren't KH meetings. As you probably guessed I burned out pretty quickly. The problem was, I started asking questions. Dad really encouraged thinking for oneself - questioning - research & study. (BTW, he is no longer in the organization. surprised? He even has a beard - gasp!) I don't want to ramble on and on, so to make a long story short, I hooked up with a loser, fooled around, and got disfellowshipped. I ended up in a very abusive relationship...until I finally left (ironically, the incident that led to me leaving was controversy over me attending the memorial - but I'll leave that for another time). I moved back to my home town. I quickly found out who my real friends were. A guy I had met at the hall (and REALLY liked) came around to check on me. My brother ended up moving in with me (and eventually got DF'ed too). My parents, while still going to meetings and stuff, let me cry and vent whenever I needed to. All in all, especially after reading some of your stories, I was very, very lucky. I didn't lose my family. The guy I mentioned earlier got DF'ed too, but it wasn't just because of associating with me. (Really! I didn't contaminate EVERYONE I came in contact with!) We moved in together and it wasn't long before I got pregnant. We chose not to get married at that time which wasn't very popular with the families. We still don't regret that decision. We had a beautiful son, who I truly believe kept us going and together. (We did finally get married & have been for 8 great years now). We moved out of this town because we really did get involved with bad association and we realized the only way to clean up was to leave. Meanwhile, we were getting a lot of flack from his mother (who is mega-brainwashed). She is on a suitcase full of medicine. Some of her illnesses I believe are real, but some I honestly feeled are "played". For our kids sake (we had a second son in the meantime), we decided to try to get reinstated. Family is very important to us, even if we don't agree with everything they think and do. So we went to meetings (I usually had a couple glasses of wine prior to leaving the house...it helped with the phony smile & such). As soon as we got reinstated we quit going. And we haven't been back since. (not very ethical...it was a planned thing...but it has served it's purpose as far as family goes. More hypocrisy as a I see it. We are not officially "DF'ed", so it's okay to talk to us) I was in my last semester at a community college when I found out I was pregnant again, we moved back "home" and have been doing quite well. The JW's tried to come around at first, but we just smiled ( I wouldn't let them in the house...I made them stand on the front porch and talk to me) and said "oh yeah, we'll come..one of these days...). They've left us alone for quite awhile.
I was playing on the internet a few months ago when I found this board. I've been reading off and on..when I have the time. Some of the comments I feel I could have written myself. Some made me laugh (SYN's essays are always hysterical...and I LOVED the KH Songs thread). Some made me sad...I'm so sorry for everyone who has "lost" their families because of this religion. I don't think I would have survived without mine and without my husband & sons (yes the 3rd was a boy, too). Some are above my head ( the dates 607...1914...). I just really don't know what I believe religion-wise right now. I'm completely disgusted with organized religion...my husband and I have no intentions of going to a church or KH ever again. Thanks for this board! It's great knowing I'm not the only one who feels this way about the borg. And actually being allowed to voice opinions!