Disfellowshipping

by Gadget 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gadget
    Gadget

    Hi, I wonder if someone can give me some information on the disfellowshipping/reinstating process.

    I appealed my disfellowshipping and at the appeal hearing they went to deliberate. They spent 10min on their own, over an hour with the original committee, then 5-10 min on their own again before disfellowshipping me. Is this normal? In the elders manual I downloaded(Thanks for the link!) it said they should deliberate seperately, only calling either of us in if more testimony was required. Why would they have spent so much time with the original committee? Any ideas?

    And what about reinstating? Is crying in the hearing a requirement for showing repentance? What if your known for not normally showing if your feeling emotional? And does appealing the original decision go against you when applying to be reinstated?

    Cheers.

  • minimus
    minimus

    What they did is normal. They wanted to discuss everything, together as well as separately. It's all part of the show, to make it look as if they are deliberating prayerfully over this. If you want to get reinstated, they might be affected by tears or not. It's not their criteria for repentance. Do you feel that you MUST go back? And if so, why???

  • Ghost of Esmeralda
    Ghost of Esmeralda

    ((((((((((Gadget))))))))))

    You are among those who understand here. Never feel alone, know that many of us have walked in your shoes...

    I too am curious why you wanted to stay in, do you have family in the organization? Do you really think they have the truth?

    Welcome to the forum...

    hugs,

    essie

  • shamus
    shamus

    Yes, why would you want to go back to that crap? I can understand if you have lots of family there.....

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Gadget,

    There is a wonderful group of us in the UK no longer associating with the Organisation. Don't be concerned about going back. Rather, think about how you can richly enhance your life now. Believe me, if you can make that break from Watchtower there's a real future waiting for you - and with REAL friends.

    WELCOME to the board!

    Best wishes,

    Dansk

  • Gadget
    Gadget

    I've got a strong reason to go back, my fiance is still a wittness(In another hall). I got DF'd, and she got no further action from her committee{Her dads an elder-very nice bloke). So I'm going to get reinstated because in the meantime we've been stopped from seeing each other. But the elders in my hall really don't like me. I had few problems about 4 years ago, nearly had a breakdown, and went of the rails big time. After I started to get things sorted out a bit I moved halls for a new start, but I still had a lot of emotional bagage. I buried myself in my work, where I've got to be observant, think carefully about situations and challange inappropriate behaviour. Made a few enemies acting like this in the hall, pointing things out to elders. This has left me as a "bad associate" for the last few years, even though most in the hall, apart from elders, like me and disagree. So this is all things I need to get cleared up if I want to get reinstated and carry on my relationship, and I'd like some advice on the best way to get round the elders if possible. Knowledge is power.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Well, if you feel the need to get reinstated, you must not show any bad attitude toward the "glorious ones". They will ask you if you have repented of your DFing offense. Did you ask God in prayer for forgiveness? If you did something to another person, did you ask forgiveness or try to make things right with the person? Will you make every meeting and show that you are at least trying? Will you kiss the glorious ones" asses if needed??? That's about it!

  • Its so simple
    Its so simple

    They took 10 minites!!! Wow, you must have had a strong case!

  • Its so simple
    Its so simple

    Instructions for reinstatement:

    Take some acting classes. Crying is good, but what is even better is catch phrases and buzz words. Here is a letter I wrote for someone seeking reinstatement.

    I really can’t seem to find the words that can help anyone understand what the past year has done for me as a servant of Jehovah. The things that I have come to understand since I have been disfellowshipped will be with me for the rest of my life. I wish had never done what brought this on me, but I will always be thankful for the lessons that Jehovah has taught me this past year. I will have them with me as I serve Jehovah for the rest of my life. This has changed me in a way nothing else could have.

    I have always thought of myself as a lover of what is good. I have learned though that while I may have been a lover of what is good, I did not hate what was bad at the same time. And, as a result, the most precious thing to me, my relationship with Jehovah, has been affected because of my actions. One of the most important things I have come to appreciate is the need for a regular personal study and prayer. This has been the key to building the strong relationship that I now have with Jehovah. Now, with Jehovah’s support behind me I will continue to hate what is bad and NEVER let this sort of thing happen again.

    I feel that the discipline I needed has run its course. Also, I have come to appreciate the love of the brothers and how much that has been missing in my life. I’m asking at this time that you consider my plea for reinstatement into the congregation. I’m very eager to get back to work for Jehovah in whatever way he will use me.

    I also want to thank you brothers who have worked with me through this for seeing all along what I should have and for being a true teacher to me. I will always be thankful your patient and loving help. May Jehovah bless all of us as we struggle to serve him in these wicked last days.

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk

    ""Knowledge is power.""

    And stupidity will ruin your life. (hear me out, I may sound harsh but, please think this out !!!)

    Even if you and you fiance get everything straightened out with the elders and get married in the KH. Will you be happy ??????, with her, yes, but what about the rest of the people you will have to put up with for the rest of your life. Once df'd, (I don't care what anybody says) you are marked for a long long long time. The next time you do something you are not supposed to do, they will grind you over the fire, they will pressure you for more service, take on more responsibility at the hall, help out in the congregation, how long before you tell one elder to f--- off.

    ""This has left me as a "bad associate" for the last few years.""

    Do you think this will ever change ??? no matter what you do.

    You are in a no win situation, I understand your love for your fiance, who wouldn't, but is it worth it, there is a billion girls out there, and married into a JW family is not pretty, your kids will be raised in this, your are limited to what you can do sexually, you are limited in job opportunities (because you can't miss meetings), you will have little freedom to make decisions on your own.

    So like everyone else said " why go back to this". (now if you could get her out, well then you're laughing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

    But don't go back because of her, go back because you truly believe in everything the organization stands for.

    -making a billion dollars a year.

    - 50 % shareholder in Rand Cam (company that makes "smart" bombs for war)

    - United Nations scandal (mamber form 1991-2002)

    - Dateline show, Do you think ALL these people were lying about sexual abuse ???

    -excessive high living for the governing body/ higher up members, private jets, endless spending etc etc etc ....

    -constantly changing doctrine to fit the times(1914, blood, this generation will not pass away, 1935 (heavens doors closed, yeah right), slavery (I'm sorry volunteers working for nothing at the Bethel)

    -charging Kingdom Halls interest on money borrowed to make new halls. (but they still get the deed).

    -divisions at the Kingdom Hall (everyone has their own little clique group)

    -woman are treated like garbage because they don't have a penis, so they can never have a position of any kind. (My sister 25 years as a Special Pioneer and nothing, my nephew is 20, and becoming a MS, yeah that's fair.

    - etc etc etc etc etc etc etc (and a million other examples)

    It is your decision, I do not envy you at all, it will not be easy, sometimes life is not fair, but if you go back, go back for the right reason.

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