curious

by bonnie38 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  bonnie38

  I wonder what the percentage is of ex-JWs who become involved in other organized religions. I had a discussion with a psychiatrist friend recently. He told me that I am a "psychiatric anamoly," that most "devout" people who leave a religion will join another and become as devout in their new religion. I told him that he and his pschiatrist friends apparently have no experience with JWs or ex-JWs.
  Does anyone have an answer? Are most ex-JWs involved in organized religions or not?
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  stephenw20

  I can say what% apply here. I have no research just a gut instinct ..and it is this.....

  its hard for many to leave the JWS> for one major reason..they are conditioned to see all else has no answers.......

  its one thing to find what you believed in to be wrong..its another thing to jump on the band wagon of another salvatiuon crusade....... from what I have noticed many are reluctant to get involved with ~any~ organized religion ,, because they been mislead in a royal way ...with out any vaseline!

  after such an experience........if anything was learned ......it would be highly unlikely to find all the answers under one roof.......

  just my 2¢
  s
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  dark clouds

  hey bonnie

  you are not an anomoly, much of the programming we recieved closed us off to other views, so to not feel an interest in religion or religious groups in a sense is a backlash from the borg experience

  your friend said that 'devout' people will leave one group and join another that may be a statistic, but as an individual you should ask yourself :
  were you devout and if you were why,
  what was the reason behind the faith you held on to,
  and what was the reason you left. . .
  within these answers you will find your own spirituality which is way more important than religion

  personally, i will never be devout to any kind of organized religion ever again. i have been gnostic at heart for as ever long as i remember

  chuck
• 

  Mommie Dark

  maybe it's time for a poll? Some statistic-gathering? Somebody could maybe make a school paper out of it.

  I lost my need for Churchianity first, then the need for an imaginary Skydaddy followed, and these days the only religion I espouse is our family religion: the Church of the Fliud Paradigm, for folks whose consciousness is rising and changing so fast it feels like a ride on a cosmic rollercoaster...we have no doctrine, no dogma, no rules... we just encourage scared religioseekers to scream 'WHEE!!!' when they feel disoriented and nauseous from their changing worldview. A cheerleader 'religion' if you will...

  Life is short, and then you die. Might as well enjoy the ride while it lasts...

  people who get involved in another religion are still too scared to try to make it without some salvation package to fill the hole left by their cult exit. It's just way easier to let someone else give you a prepackaged moral code; it takes real work and effort to find an ethical baseline without the support of a peer group...overcoming the herd instinct can be really really hard to do. It's worth the effort tho.
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  ARoarer

  Hi Bonnie, I don't think you're an anomoly. I think your friend does not understand the level of betrayal one has when they have been hurt by Jehovah's Witnesses. It is a cult of control and fear and I don't think being devout in the sense that the term normally implies, has anything to do with Jehovah's Witnesses. Most lead double lives. Fear of punishment and abandonement is what makes your everyday witness "devout", but a better word is "loyal" to an organization. When I and my family experienced the betrayal and abandonment of close friends and family for exposing pedophilia in the family and congregation, I personally, felt the trauma of it all, but also felt and individual spiritual relationship with the Creator, and all my own principals of right and wrong overpowered the loyalty to the organization that claims it's members are devout. Maybe those of us who have been hurt and left, really loved our friends and our Creator too much to tolerate the evil in the Organization and present it at the door to strangers. We who have been programmed by cult mind control have a very hard time moving on to any religion that is organized by men. I look at all religion now as mans vehicle to a personal relationship with their higher power. Some need that structure, and some, like myself, are afraid of that structure, and want to trust our own gut now when it comes to having a relationship with God. I think now the bottom line for me is that the basic rule in the teachings of Jesus is human kindness towards ones neighbor. This is something the Watchtower does not encourage. In fact, the opposite is true. I left a religion, not my cherished friendships. Yet they chose to sever their friendship with us, simply because we told the truth. No we are not disfellowshipped or have formerly dissaciated ourselves, but we have been definitly shunned as if we were disfellowshipped. People, who were our very closest friends who shared our lives with. Births of children, kindergarten, graduations, hospitalizations, lifes joys and sorrows. And it all meant nothing because they are "loyal" to a concept that the organization imposes on them. It hurts very much, and few of us who disconnect from it will ever trust enough again or even have the emotional capacity to toally involve ouselves in an organized church community. The bottom line is, any church community that protects predators, but shuns it's youth when they err, or upstanding members when they morally and conscientously oppose such treatment, is a dangerous church community.
  Just my thoughts.:)
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  Moxy

  ive asked this question before in a.r.j-w but ive never really gotten a good answer, its not a fair sampling for one thing.

  i think your psychiatrist friend's opinion is backed up by evidence tho, but i dont think you should necessarily equate an avoiding of organized religion with not being devout. true, many avoid organized religion. but the mindset may continue. do you see these attitudes among xjw's more or less than the average populace?

  - people have to choose a side

  - everyone is in a school of thought and the schools are opposed to each other.

  - people show which 'side' they are on by WHO they associate with or respect more so than WHAT they think.

  - it is proper to show love and support to those on one's own 'side' and the opposite to those who are not

  - those not on one's own 'side' have NO redeeming features and it is a weakness to acknowledge any.

  ray franz has mentioned this continued mindset after leaving the org. my time on a.r.j-w and h2o has shown me that this is largely true.

  im sick and tired of sides...

  mox
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  CornerStone

  Hello Bonnie38,

  I also do not have any satistical information on the percentage of x-JW's joining other organised religions but I would think the number would be close to the national number of people leaving one "Christian" religion and joining another "Christian" religion. I do not believe it is possible for truly "devout" Christians to exist in a vacuum without the involvment of fellow believers. There are some exceptions to the rule but those devout x-JW's need to find people of like faith or the angry pessimism and hopelessness of this world will eat away at their Christian hope with devastating results.

  That hope is so very important to x-JW's, even the Bible says of hope:

  3It seems so tragic that one fate comes to all. That is why people are not more careful to be good. Instead, they choose their own mad course, for they have no hope. There is nothing ahead but death anyway. 4There is hope only for the living. For as they say, “It is better to be a live dog than a dead lion!”

  Ecclesiastes 9:3-4 NLT

  14The human spirit can endure a sick body, but who can bear it if the spirit is crushed?

  Proverbs 18:13 NLT

  I think a lot of x-JW's come to the NET looking for those of like faith but I believe that in time it takes more than "e-mail" to foster those relationships that were important to them when they were in the org. Even more so when it comes to their Christian faith.

  CornerStone
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  outnfree

  Bonnie,

  I am an ex-JW attending a church. I began attending various churches Sun. morns (meetings were in the PM) about 5 months before I actually DA'd myself. My motive was that I could not conceive of just being "out there" with no fellowship at all, having to work out where my spiritual life was going on my own. I was very fearful of being on my own.

  I found a church which wants to base itself on NT teachings only. That seemed a very comfortable starting place for me, if I was going to have to join a church in "Christendom." After a few months of regular attendance, I looked for an adult Bible study class. I joined the one where I liked the elder's prayers the best. It turns out that this elder is a Free Bible Student -- his pastor knows and I know and the pastor knows that I am an ex-JW who disbelieves the Trinity. What a relief on two levels! One: there are others out there that don't adhere to EVERYTHING their church teaches, yet also desire the fellowship with other Christians; Two: the pastor REALLY MEANT IT when he told me that I was free to believe what I wished (as long as I didn't proselytize) and that I was welcome there.

  Now that I have this marvelous support group in the background as a safety net, I find I am more able and willing to examine whether or not God is Yahweh or something much greater. Or if God created evil? Or if God exists at all? If Jesus can be worshipped? Should be worshipped? If the Judeo-Christian concept of God is any more valid than Allah or Buddha's Way or Hinduism's pantheon?

  I am reading the Bible without the aid of Watchtower publications! It's very freeing!

  But I am also reading other material. Right now I've just started "When God was a Woman" by Merlin Stone on the heels of "When Jesus Became God" by Richard E. Rubenstein.

  On exiting, a "devout" Witness might feel as I did, and, if they had a compulsive personality, might jump with both feet into another religion. But I think far more ex-JWs feel totally "burned" by religion and distrustful of anything and anyone that would force them to give up their newfound freedom to think for themselves.

  I am so grateful to begin to TRUST myself to make the right choices for ME as to what to believe! That's the joy of being

  outnfree
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  Mulan

  I don't think there is any tried and true rule on this issue. I have seen some who almost immediately get involved in another type of organization and those who are appalled by the idea. My youngest son is now part of a church and very involved in it, and engaged to the Pastor's daughter (they met in college). He is a type of young man who needed something to belong to, and had a strong religious need. Spiritual? Maybe, not sure. So far, it is a good thing for him. For my husband and myself, and our other 3 children, NO WAY!!! I get a real sick feeling every time I even think about such a thing. Our son's future in laws used to bug us about coming to church all the time, and I get real SICK of hearing "the Lord says" or "God told me" all the time. Those expressions, while sincerely believed by the speaker, are just too foreign to me. It puts me further away from them, and does not draw me in. Anyway, we are of the ones who don't go join a church.
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  riz

  Hi Bonnie,

  I was born and raised as a witness. I've been out for five years now and there is now way in hell I will join another religious organization again. Ever.

  I live by a simple creed now: Follow my conscience, make the most of each day, and don't hurt others.

  I am happier now than I have ever been. Freedom and peace of mind are my 'paradise.'

  riz

  Insanity in individuals is something rare- but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule. - Nietzsche